We normally say this and hear this because of the amazing things that happen in the world today. A lot of technology is making possible things that even just a few years ago we would never have dreamt of, but over the past few weeks, what a time to be alive has felt very different.
At the moment, Camp NaNo is into its first 2020 session, and whilst I am not officially signed up to be taking part, I am signed up as a Twitter sprint lead and did my first shift this week, and honestly, I'm amazed that some people are able to write on regardless. I find it truly inspiring. On the flip side, many of us are feeling like we have more time, and yet less inclination to sit down and write a novel because times are so turbulent and the problems of the world are weighing on us all too heavily. I have one thing to say to anyone feeling like this: It is okay.
However this pandemic is making you feel, those feelings are one hundred percent valid. Whilst some people will emerge from this crisis having learned a new language or skill, or having written their novel or having finished a long-awaited project, that does not invalidate your experience. Some people stave off the very natural panic induced by a global crisis and invisible enemy by getting stuck into something and not allowing themselves to think. Others may not be able to do that, and that is fine.
Personally, it's been all that I can do not to be a grumpy whatsit, because the inclination has been there, but I don't like alone and I don't like conflict, so I'm trying to be a lot more amiable than I actually feel. We're trying to do housework in the day and then watch a film in the evening. I'm doing my best to write every day, but I'm forgiving myself when I can't because I also know that this is really difficult. I have an anxiety disorder anyway, so I feel oddly calm at the prospect of not being able to get hold of all the food we would normally eat or the idea of people in my home getting sick - I have been over it so many times in my head that the thought isn't really so scary now, but I do get really scared of boredom and if the UK measures are extended so that I can't go for a run. I don't always love running, but I know how calming it can be and I know that it can feel like freedom in the middle of a very terrible situation.
I've found that no matter what I try to write about, I'm writing myself into corners or deciding that I'm bored with something, I don't know where it's going or I'm sick of writing it. This isn't just Coronavirus related - I've been feeling it for a while, but I'm trying to bring myself back to the desk and still write a little each day to remind myself that first drafts don't need to be perfect. The thing is, no matter what we do with this time, as long as we are doing our best to look after ourselves, there will be time later to do other things we want to do, but putting unnecessary stress onto ourselves isn't looking after ourselves. Stress isn't good for the immune system or anything else. Yes, push yourself to do what you can, but also know your limits. There is no way I am walking out of this quarantine with a finished first draft or a novel I'm happy with. That's just not realistic. I'm still working and I'm trying to put effort in to do things around the house. I'm going to try and make my mum's birthday special at the end of next month and I'm going to plan things to do when things can again be done outside of the house. That, plus some knitting projects that stop me going completely demented whilst I'm on conference calls, is about the limit of what I can do.
I may also try and change my medication around again, so that by the time I am back in London and back to 'normal' working life, I don't feel like I'm starting my workday halfway through the day. Hopefully, that will make running a bit easier as well, because I might be able to get up earlier and get runs in during the morning, rather than having to think about dragging my bones around the block after a day of work when I would really rather collapse onto the sofa and binge-watch Grey's Anatomy.
So, be kind, stay safe, wash your hands, stay indoors, get some exercise, but stay 2 meters away from people, but look after elderly and vulnerable people, be a community, clap for the NHS on a Thursday and it'll all be over in a few weeks times. Jesus, quarantine is exhausting!
