First things first, I am registered on a dating site, because I find that I either friend zone people too quickly or lack the necessary sports equipment to ask them out. Now, that's all fine and dandy - granted it has some problems sometimes, but I'm a sensible girl and I make sure I meet people in public spaces and tell someone where I am going.
I was messaging someone this morning and he told me that he had been catfished twice on this site. Now, obviously that is not very encouraging for me as a reasonably new user to this site, but it did peak my curiosity to ask what happened. The boiled down essence of what this guy told me was that the women were heavier and less physically attractive than he had been led to expect by their profile photos (I mean, this guy is not going to win world's sexiest bachelor himself, but that is an aside).
Now, I got a little defensive over this, because I think it's a horrible thing to say, no matter how prettily you phrase it, but I think that was particularly because he stated that he thinks it's "important that people have full body pics on their profile, if not they are hiding something." So, instinctivlely, I challenged him and suggested that no one is 100% truthful on their dating profile - I'm pretty much certain mine says I like cycling, but that is a bit of a stretch, I own a bike, I can ride it and I do enjoy it when I'm out on it, but that comes to a grand total of once or twice a year... Maybe these women felt that if they put photographs online of their full body, they wouldn't recieve responses or as many responses, or they might even get one of those *lovely* aggressive responses like the guy on Tinder who felt the need to message a lady who had swiped right on him in order to let her know that he was out of her league.
I don't understand what this whole thing is of people feeling the need to pass comment just because you put yourself out there on a public forum. It's almost as though dating sites have become an unofficial *ROAST ME* forum and I'm not comfortable with that (me being an average height, average weight person with moderate confidence getting a reasonable amount of good attention on these things) so I can only imagine what it would be like for someone who perceives themselves to have the sort of 'faults' which these people like to attack.
I mean, what are people on that this is suddenly an appropriate course of action? Surely we are all using these websites for a similar goal? (I say similar because naturally there is a range from those who want to find a relationship, to those who want to casually date and those who are simply looking for casual sex.)
As I see it, whether we are dating online or dating in person, you always present the best side of you to new people. I know that in 4/5 of my profile photos my hair is blowdried nicely, I'm wearing makeup and I look pretty good as compared to the way I look on a daily basis - though to balance that there is a photo of me and my dog having a cuddle which provoked a message "Lose the mum jeans." Ha, yes, because I'm going to take advice on what to wear from a random stranger on the internet... no, thank you. I don't allow boyfriends to tell me what to wear so you have no chance mate.
The simple way that I see the whole of this thing is that people will put up photos on the internet that they are happy to present to the world as themselves. They will write what they are happy with about themselves, or what their perception of themselves is and that is what they will then project outwards. I personally read between the lines of profiles and I do question why people have said certain things or posted certain photos and that is why I end up choosing whether or not to speak to them, because at the end of the day, I am a very headstrong person and I know myself rather well by now.
I know that there is little sense in me chatting with anyone under 25 because generally I find that I have to be the mature one, and I am currently no-one's mother and I like it that way! If someone waxes lyrical about that fact that they have travelled all over Asia or took a gap year to "find themself" I can generally write them off as well, because quite frankly, I don't care if you thought that a visit to Thailand was how you found your inner whatever, I don't think that drugged tigers and injured elephants are the roads to self-discovery. I also find it hard to stomach anyone who puts anything along the line of bacon is life on their profile (you laugh, but I've seen it) and it's not just because I'm a vegetarian, but more because I find it passive aggressive towards vegetarians, vegans and anyone else of the persuasion not to eat bacon.
Perhaps all that is as bad as the no ugo's and no fat chicks, but I don't think so...
Catch you later.
No comments:
Post a Comment