Wouldn't It Be Great If IKEA,

I'm going to start this by saying I don't agree with the Lancashire Hot Pots on this one and I neither fear IKEA nor dislike it, in fact, I love it. I know that not everyone likes them, I know some people see them as just a cheap furniture pusher and I'm sure that some people are devastated that the entire MALM range is going to be going soon, even though they already axed the best colour (one of the previous oaks that was a textured veneer and just generally beautiful) partly because it's been around for 24 years (I'm not sad enough to know that without looking it up - it was on the wall of IKEA when we were there last) and it's hard enough when an entire brand goes pop and you can't get it anymore, let alone when a business makes a decision to move on from something that has been a staple for that long. 

I've been irritated with them before, because they do something like make the best plant goujons you've ever tasted and then discontinue them, or make the plant balls a bit too meaty so I have a half panic until Paul reassures me that they are the plant ones, he checked and he watched them make my food (he's a good egg), and when the Warrington one decided to slim down their menu for some reason and they weren't sharing that reason because it was after they finished the kitchen refurb and they dropped the rice bowl, it boiled my piss, but the recent salve to that has been a return of the rice bowl and another deal for super cheap food.

I've also seen some amazing things in IKEA like nursing groups in the cafe, they've done a pub* quiz and all those sorts of things that make it more like a community hub than a shop and I love that, and I love the feeding area for babies that I've used as a pumping area more than once. There's a lot that I like about IKEA, even if the Tetris game of getting things into a small car is both laughable and infuriating, the names are a dyslexic person (me)'s worst nightmare and there needs to be a lane for dawdlers because I just want to push them onto the nearest sofa so that they are out of my way. (I wouldn't but the thought crosses my mind on a more than semi regular basis...) I feel similar in the Trafford Centre, but there's less soft landings for people there.

So what is my latest IKEA related gripe? I like the new blue Billy bookcase. In fact, I love it. I love the green Kallax, too. I love the wonky nature of the shelves being different widths and things, but you can only have it in green and the green one is only in wonky. The blue Billy? No height extension, no drawer for the bottom, no doors at all... and let's face it, colour matching is hard to impossible, and because of the nature of what IKEA is, it's not going to look the same if you vinyl wrap or paint your own at home, so it's cool and it's "highly customisable" but not highly enough really. If you want a desk on a Billy, it has to be a white one, if you want the drawer, it has to be a white one, if you have non-standard ceilings... options are vastly reduced. I know, I know, it's mass produced and it's cheap and it's not meant to be custom furniture and you'd pay a lot more for something that is, but just imagine being able to use it like a pick 'n' mix, even if only on the website, and going here's the materials, here's the styles or patterns or whatever you want to call it, and then being able to get multiple height extensions for the Billy bookcases if you have high ceilings, because as long as it's mounted to the wall, the engineering of one versus two shouldn't be complicated at all. I'd love to be able to get blue ones with a drawer at the bottom for little man's toys, a couple of opaque doors at the top and glass doors down the middle to mean that my books get less dusty when they're sat on their shelves, but there are no blue doors and there's no drawer in the brown walnut that I also think would look quite nice.

We had talked about getting a carpenter in and getting something done in the front room and I think what we would be looking for would be very similar to what I've described above, but as I say, it would be more expensive, and we can't do expensive until after the wedding, because until then, well, we have a wedding to pay for, and weddings don't come cheap either!

Dear IKEA, Please Stop,

 In the interest of not having a super long title, I shortened this to the above, but the full sentence is, Dear IKEA, Please stop making new plant based foods. 

As someone who is vegetarian and regularly gets excited about new veggie food, it probably seems like a bit of a weird and ridiculous thing to say, and I can honestly understand and appreciate that perspective, but hear me out...

I've said it before and I will say it again, I am sick of trying new vegetarian food, it being really good and then it disappears off of the face of the earth never to be see again either because it's not financially viable to make or because it didn't get the anticipated reception, which let's face it, also comes down to the question of money.

Last year, (or it might have been the year before at this point... timelines aren't a strength of mine unless I can connect things to events I do know the date for) IKEA created a plant goujon that was actually brilliant. It was actually delicious enough that my meat eating partner chose it a few times when there were plenty of other options on the menu, and I see that as a mark of success, but then with no word of warning, they were pulled out of stores and gone without a trace, and I was gutted.

Definitely last year, IKEA then created a rice bowl which is slightly curried in nature, doesn't have a sauce and is essentially just rice, vegetables and spices, so it suits both my and my partner's weird food things down to the ground which was exciting because most things don't actually suit the both of us. We've also seen the new plant nuggets coming into a couple of the stores, which seems exciting, right? Nah, it's not, because even though both those and the rice bowl are still on the advertising boards of the restaurant at our local IKEA - which isn't overly local, but it's the best we have since IKEA canned the idea of the Preston store - we were informed that the menu has been dramatically reduced and that the reasoning behind this was something to do with seeing if the speed of service could be increased by having fewer dish options available. In other news, we're testing if water is wet...

My partner and I are quite the fans of going to IKEA for food, partly because there is always something we need in IKEA, even if it is just a shipping order of candles, but also because the food that they make is good quality, has plenty of veggies in and it's affordable. More than anything else though, the reason we go is for the choice. The amount of choice which suits both of us is incredible and the idea of slimming down the offering really makes me sad because the things which go are the far more interesting meals and what you're left with is things like fish and chips, the Swedish meat and plant balls (granted, it's not IKEA without those) and pasta and tomato sauce, all of which don't amount to a great amount of options and there's nothing really exciting about any of it. I know they're not trying to cook gourmet or win a Michelin star, but it just seems a shame when they have created a menu that is so good! 

Finding that out really put a damper on today's visit, because we had planned to go to IKEA for food after a busy day, because I know what I like from there and I then know I don't have to go home and cook something else. Whilst we were able to get something to eat, what I had was a far cry from what I was wanting, and meant I had to cook something else when I got in because I was already feeling hungry again. Granted, we were still able to use the bottle warming facilities for sorting out our son, the changing facilities... again, for sorting out our son..., and also the breastfeeding/ nursing area for me to be able to pump, the constant changes of the menu which are, in my opinion, for the worse are really starting the impact whether I even want to go or not, and given that IKEA is a long trek for us now that we've moved, it's becoming a real disappointment, and I really wish that IKEA would stop introducing new and great foods (particularly anything plant based, since that's all I eat) only to discontinue them a short time later, because I don't like change very much and I get quite attached to foods that I like, and it's just making me sad now...