A Day Late and a Dollar Short,

My priorities recently have been very much about work (my job work, not novel work) and I have been quite comfortable with that. It hasn't been because I have fallen out of love with writing or that I have changed my mind about it being something I really want to do with my life, but because I know it can be all consuming.

The other issue is that what I have been writing is nothing in comparison to what I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I love a cheeky little romance novel, I love writing about human relationships, and I don't write anything just for the hell of it if I think it is going to be awful. 

Still, everything I have been writing has been very contained. It was something that I chose to do, and I have put several projects which I knew had the potential to get me away from that, but the problem has always been that there have been other things I needed to focus on, and so I did. I focused on other things. 

I keep hoping that something will feel like a pivotal moment, but it never really does feel like a fireworks moment until it is already nearly done with. Self publishing my first novel was thing long and arduous process and I nearly gave up a couple of times, but when the proof copy finally arrived through my front door I could barely contain the excitement. Until then, it was nothing but a concept, a virtual file made of key strokes and binary and computer nonsense, but then suddenly it was there in Amazon packaging, a physical thing made of paper and ink, all black and white and beautiful, having come off a printing press in America and then being shipped across the Atlantic to me. 

I know that there is only me that can make it happen again - I am well aware of that, but the last thing I want to do is to put something out into the world that is not a patch on Fairies. Maybe that is me being far too picky, but I would rather do that. 

I may also be off the blog next weekend, again due to work commitments, but I'll catch you later...

Too Much To Do Does Not a Life Make,

I keep getting really annoyed that I haven't really been writing any blogs for a while, but I have so much to do that I haven't even played Sims 4 or SimCity for a month, and they're my destress things, so I'm sure you can imagine that I'm a little bit of a X Track 2 (I'm a Mess - for all those who didn't get the Ed Sheeran reference). 

So, what's been happening? Well, more doctor's trips because I've been having inconvenient stomach pains - not that any stomach pain is particularly convenient if you actually like doing your job and are no longer in high school wanting to miss PE - getting infuriated at the library in my university when people are requesting books that I'm using for my dissertation, getting a bit panicked by essays and deadlines, going to see Ed Sheeran in concert (twice :P) and watching the filming of Russell Howard's Good News last night. Why does life always seem to fit much more nicely into timeslots when you list it all out? I always feel so busy!!

What am I currently procrastinating from (I don't care if that's incorrect use of the word, you understand what it means)? Well, I have to choose between two really fun essays: One about HIV and contraception, the other about the ethical status of natural family planning. Considering this is one of the courses I am technically resitting - not that I failed, I just didn't do the course first time... - I would rather do the second option, as I attempted the first last time, and I don't think it went so well...

In other news, I've finally reached a decision concerning National Novel Writing Month this year, and I have decided I'm not doing it. I'm sick of the amount of Facebook spam I get about it and, quite frankly, the pressure to focus that much on my novel writing at the moment would not be a welcome thing - I actually can't think of anything worse. Last year was amazing - 3 10k days and I finished within 19 days, beating my personal record (previously 20days) - but I kicked my own ass so hard because NaNo was the centre of my world; this year it can't be, and I don't know any other way to behave with it, so rather than make a royal fluff up of my last year at uni, I would rather put NaNo onto the backburner for a bit and focus on the stuff that I really need to do.

It's been a bloody hard decision, and it's not like I'm walking away from it for good, but I guess that at some point I have to see that NaNo doesn't and can't own me, and I don't need it, I just want it. If I never go back to it, it has been extraordinary for me - not just for the writer that I want to be, but also the person that I am. I've met some amazing people because of it, and I hope to stay in touch with a lot of them for a very long time, but like I said, I have far too much else going on at the moment to be able to afford the time to it that I spend on it. 

Best of luck to all those competing this year.

Anyway, best get back to it. 

Okay, I Just Panicked,

After sorting out my list, I went ahead and actually did a couple of the things on it, which is pretty surprising because I very often make the list and then forget it... 

One essay is down, I have the books I need for the next one, I found my railcard and my keys, and I even went to my lecture today. Now that I'm trying to do my next essay things are becoming problematic again. 

It seems I only notice that my room is in dire need of tidying and a fairly decent hoovering when I have an essay to do, and I also wasted a good half an hour wading through the box of notebooks which takes up a large amount of space in my room. I HAVEN'T TOUCHED IT IN MONTHS!! Oh, and there is also investing new coats on eBay and planning a present for my friend who is having a baby...in about July. 

The only plus point I have is that I have time tomorrow, my weekend bag is half backed and I have dealt with most of my Christmas shopping already, so that's no longer a concern. Oh, and I have the basis of an introduction, although that needs a little bit of rejigging so that it's right. 

Wish me luck,.

Manning the Procrastination Station,

It's really difficult to get me to sit down and focus on any one thing at a time. 

I'm still trying to write an essay, and I have another to do for Thursday, but the time it needs to be submitted is only ten minutes after I step off a train in Manchester, so it needs to be done even before then, along with a lot of other things, which is starting to get me a little bit stressed, and my head is buzzing, which is really not helping, so I've got my cup of tea and I've just finished watching a Come Dine With Me marathon.

The other great thing for making me relax is making a list of all the things I need to do, so I can tick them off when I'm done with them. So here it is: 

Politics essay,

Change over library books,

Psychology essay,

Pack my weekend bag,

Find my railcard and my parents house keys, 

And of course, I need to make sure I get into all three of my lectures this week.

When I can't even watch television without having a notebook or knitting in my hands, it's really difficult for me to get to sit down and focus. Even when I'm writing, that happens. 

Anyway, best get back to it.