If you've clicked on this link hoping for something akin to exactly what the title suggests, I am afraid you may be bitterly disappointed. The first thing I need to get out of the way is the idea that happiness can be achieved by a list of a few things, the same for everyone and puff, everything is perfect. Maybe not quite boiled down to this extent, but a lot of people seem to believe that this is the case.
Happiness is something that I think about a lot, and it's something I've read a lot about. One of the reasons for that is that I have been working in Mental Health for approximately the last fifteen months (a year and a quarter - however you prefer to read it, the time line is the same) and part of it is the fact that I have my own mental health diagnosis. Something I have learnt because of both of those things is that happiness can be an elusive beast and we seem all to able to look back and see happiness in the past, but only be able to see our current misery. There is a reason for this.
One of my big beliefs - other than God, true love and the fairies who are currently irritated that we don't have a garden - is that it is almost impossible to be permanently happy. That's not something which saddens me at all. I've studied philosophy for long enough to understand and accept the theory that "bad things" can simply be a privation of the thing we want. Darkness is simply the lack/absence of light, evil is the lack/absence of goodness (though I am far less sold on this one in particular) but I don't think that depression, or sadness, or any other synonyms you wish to use are solely down to a lack of happiness. I think they're something different and they're actually down to a lack of contentment.
The easiest way to describe it, I think, is that happiness is like an orgasm. For most people, it takes time, it takes some effort, whether by yourself or with someone else, and it's relatively short lived. Now, that's not to say that sex is boring, it's not to say that there is no pleasure or worth in it, but it's like happiness is that pinnacle moment, so really we need to look for something else. What is that feeling that we have before hand, at the same time as and following that pinnacle moment? That's when it's important to be content.
I've heard of people talking about contentment as a bad thing. It's almost as though you're choosing to "settle" for something which is "lesser". There is a reason I have marked those two words out. There have been studies that show that the environment that we have created for ourselves within our society isn't structured to bring about happiness, and I think that part of that is because we have been designed to not be content. Think about it - how far out of your home can you get before you see an advertisement? And what is that advertisement there to do? To sell you insurance - firstly they've got to convince you that it's possible bad things will happen, and insurance is the only way to cope. How about make up? First, they have to convince you that the way you look anyway isn't good enough. Okay, what about clothes and cars and stuff? You need to be convinced that you either don't have enough stuff or it's the wrong stuff. It's the out of date stuff. Hurry up, get the next thing or you'll be left behind. We're in this environment where it's not about having enough to be content, or to be able to live easily or anything like that - there's a pressure to earn more money, to spend more money, to have more stuff and then to display it to everyone. How on Earth is that going to make anyone happy? It's even more momentary, even more fleeting, because you get the thing and then minutes later it's no longer good enough.
I don't want to sounds like one of those pompous idiots who have revelations in the shower, but I was sat in my reading chair (the acquisition of which did actually provide me immense happiness, partly because it was cheap, it was second hand and it wasn't leather and also it was so perfectly the vision of what I wanted that I had to pinch myself to show I wasn't dreaming) and I was reading Jojo Moyes Me Before You and I realised that, as little as two months ago, I had been sat around elsewhere in the flat and I had been listless and restless and unable to decide what to do, but had no motivation to do anything. It was partly my diagnosis, it was partly my medication to deal with that condition and it was partly this idea that I was looking for something quick to make me happy. Even today, I was sat there wanting to devour that book and get to the ending - partly, I believe, because it is an excellent novel and I just love every second of it, but also partly because I am not perfect, and I think finishing the book will make me happy - but I could feel myself smiling. Granted, I wasn't over the moon elated, but I was, and am, content that I don't need to do anything more with my weekend than sit in a chair that I love, reading a book that I love, and I don't need to get out of my pjs yet, because I am content in this moment. Now maybe that's because it's the post-NaNoWriMo high or maybe because I spent some time with friends watching Christmas movies yesterday or maybe it's because I start a new job tomorrow, but I would like to think it's also a little bit because I've accepted that not every day can be an adventure, and actually, I can be happy right here.
Also: Sorry I haven't been writing here a lot. There's a lot that I have wanted to write, but my anxiety has got in the way. I think I'm doing better now, so might be around a bit more. Catch you later. C x
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