Okay, I realise this blog has become a big of a pregnancy obsessed space at the moment and for that I slightly apologise, and the reason it's only slight is because it's the biggest thing in my life right now, and I have always processed things with writing, so I think it's pretty natural for this space to become somewhere that I think about, talk about, write about, the many issues surrounding pregnancy, even when I'm not a hundred percent comfortable discussing all of the details of my specific pregnancy. The below may be TMI for some of you, though.
Before getting pregnant, I knew there was a period of time after birth where it's recommended that you refrain from having sex. I think most women know this one, and whether men are just never told or never taught until the last possible moment I'm not sure, because there are far too many stories of it coming as a shock, or something which they alone need to endure.
What I didn't know is that this applies whichever way you gave birth - I honestly thought it was more to do with vaginal trauma than anything so I thought a C-section would be different - and it's got nothing to do with the trauma of the birth itself. I've been following a few different midwives, postpartum care specialists etc and one of them did a video where she talked about why this is the case and explained about the detaching of the placenta leaving a dinner plate sized wound that takes approximately six weeks to heal. I'm not going to lie, after watching that video I felt really stupid, because it seems obvious now, but I don't think I had acknowledged the size of this extra organ that the body grows or that it doesn't just fall out cleanly and leave what's underneath perfectly fine. Obviously there is a wound. Obviously it's something significant.
What also shocked me was that during that period (literally) where you are still lose blood and blood clots etc and you most likely just want to go back to your old reliable period products, depending on what you use, that might now be possible or advisable. The instruction isn't 'don't have sex' it's don't put anything in there for six weeks. No tampons, no moon cups, no toys or anything else like that, because it creates an infection risk in that large internal wound.
I've mentioned before about our intention to use reusable nappies as opposed to disposable ones, because it just fits better with my views (hate plastic, hate waste) but the question surrounding that postpartum period for me becomes a lot more complicated, particularly because I'm going to be primarily focused on caring for the little man, getting into a feeding routine and also adjusting to having a lot more washing to do in a week... Also, wearing things like period pants is complicated by the fact that my bump is sore at the moment, but it's likely to be more sore as everything tries to shift back to it's normal position and normal sizes and shapes, so just because something fit me before I was pregnant and worked for me then doesn't mean it's going to work for me post baby. I've never been a reusable pads sort of person - honestly I couldn't get my head around changing them and having to keep the dirty one in my bag, partly because women's clothes are crap for pockets and I feel like walking into the ladies room at work with your bag screams "I'm menstruating" in a way that I just don't want to, thanks - so I don't even know what type I would have used pre-baby, but even if I did, the likelihood that they would be able to keep up with everything in those first postpartum weeks is... questionable.
This has also become a thing I've been thinking about because although I've been to a birthing class and they have explained that the cinematic gush of amniotic fluid is so unlikely, I am somewhat terrified of making a mess when I go into labour. One of the reasons I've never been fond of the idea of a home birth is because I've never been inclined to want to clean up the mess or have family or my partner have to do it, but even the idea of my waters breaking, particularly if I'm asleep, makes me feel pretty anxious, but I don't really know what the right answer is. If I had to go into the hospital for something like a membrane sweep then it would be somewhat obvious that post that, we'd be expecting something to happen, but other than that, it's a long time where the baby may or may not decide tonight is the night or today is the day, and given how exhausted I have been I'm spending most of my time either in bed or on the sofa, so it's reasonable to expect one of them is going to take the hit...
I've said a few times during this pregnancy - actually, no, it's been many, many times - there is no dignity in pregnancy and I feel like this is another area where I want to say the same thing. At some stage, I'm going to spring a leak and there's nothing I can do about it, no way to predict it, and trying to 'be prepared' for it at all times makes me feel like I'm treating myself like a giant toddler, but if feeling like a giant toddler helps me reduce the anxiety of the mess it could all create then I think I just need to learn to accept that and move on.
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