I'm in a bit of a claustrophobic mood at the moment and it's annoying because it's only towards certain people. It's put me in a really bad mood since I got home and I was genuinely considering not writing this, but I think it will be fun, and the title is really misleading.
So here we go:
Several of my friends are vegan and, though none of them have ever pressured me to join them, I have often wondered whether it was something that I could do. Every year I see people hashtagging the hell out of Veganuary, and think, oh yeah, that's started and I missed it. Crap.
Now, I admit it, I'm not a wonderful vegetarian pescetarian (it means I eat fish, but not meat) because my favourite kinds of sweets are not vegetarian. The fact that I am eating fish again slightly pisses me off because I would love to not do, but again, it's really hard. I bloody love smoked salmon, but it's something I've been committed to for a long time, and to be quite honest I would love to give the vegan thing a trial run.
The thing is, if you know where to look, you can find vegan foods that fight your cravings, you just need to know how to do it. I have been craving chocolate for the last two days and had a vegan milkshake (Oat milk and Booja Booja ice cream) and it has knocked it right out. Seriously, that thing was beautiful.
Maybe it was sitting by the canal in Camden, the sun being out, having great food and great music and awesome company, but there was something about it that made me feel really content. Up until two minutes ago I was doing really well on the not killing bugs bit, too, however that spider was a little too big for me to confidently pick up on a piece of paper and put out of the window... I didn't kill the ant that crawled across my shoulder earlier, though, and that is some serious personal growth for me!
So what are my reasons not to go vegan, even if it was just for a month to see how I get on? Well, they're silly. It comes down to me wondering if I can commit to it because it would be intense. It also comes down to the not wanting to have yet another thing to explain myself for, because that is just annoying and I shouldn't have to justify my life choices to other people. It also comes down to the fact that my family would worry for my health, though I've been told cutting out cheese and chocolate is something I should really do at the moment to help alleviate some of the pressure I'm getting from a condition, so maybe it would actually be good for me. But more than anything my reason to not commit to doing it for a month is I don't know if I could then make a U-turn and come back to where I am now in terms of eating fish and eggs etc.
I'm going to consider it, and then maybe that will be my June project.
If you read any of the blogs I've written since just before the start of Lent you'll be aware it was my intention to "give up my jeans" for Lent, and force myself to wear dresses and skirts, since I own so many, and a few have never actually seen the light of day. I'm never very good at Lent, and this year was no different - I gave up when I had annual leave and a gig to attend. There was no way that I was going to see Theory of a Deadman in a dress or a skirt! Also, my outfits had been getting decidedly wackier because the tops/shirts, etc. I own don't always go with my skirts, and I've had to wear cable knit tights, too so that I don't freeze my behind off!
On the plus side, Theory of a Deadman were amazing and one of their support acts, Royal Republic, were surprisingly good also. (If you want to look them up, their best song is Baby.) I also got to go to the Camden Electric Ballroom for a gig, which is something I have been looking forward to since I moved here from Manchester. It will also be very useful for a book I'm part way through writing!!
Unfortunately, feeling run down and crappy meant that I didn't get the chance to attack any of the editings which I still need to do. It's rather frustrating because I know I only have a limited time left to work with the software I'm using, but I always seem to be lacking in the energy of the motivation to get it done, but that just can't continue! It just needs to be done, because then it can be released and I can stop having to try and explain that yes, it is amazing that I published a novel at 17, and then I have nothing to show for anything I have done since.
Be moaning about something else...
I have way too much spare time on my hands, and one of my things to do with said time is watch TV series and knit whatever project I'm working on at the time - whether it's tree stockings, blanket patches or baby jumpers. Before anyone even thinks I'm having a mini me a) several of my friends already have young babies b) one of my friends is currently pregnant and I'm making a present or two for her and c) I don't have the patience for a full sized project.
The problems come in many forms, such as Netflix only having the first four seasons of something, and then me having to switch until the fifth season comes on, or finding that I have seen most of the films on Netflix which I am actually interested in, and of course, the fact that our internet can't even load the definition of the word shoddy before crapping out.
Aside from that though, this weekend has been pretty amazing.
After running so late that we missed an event we were planning to go to, my lovely Ben and I decided to go to Camden. On a Saturday. If you're from London, you'll realise how kind of stupid that was, but ah well, it was still really good fun.
One of the things I love about the markets is that you can find really good incense and it's not overly priced like it can be on the internet, and the burners aren't too bad either. I picked up some 'Black Love' sticks and 'Dragons Blood' cones - they smell amazing. You would think they would mess with my asthma, but they actually feel like they help...
After that loveliness, we decided to have a walk along the canal with a hot apple juice and cinnamon (yuck!) and mulled wine (mmmmmhmmm) up to ZSL London, Regent's Park, then get home via Baker Street. It was nice to be out whilst the sun was putting in a bit of an appearance, even though it was still cold enough to make your hands numb.
It's got to the point now where I'm counting down the days until my birthday (17) and I'm kind of crapping myself about turning 21. Okay, so in this country, the only thing it really affords you is the pleasure of getting into certain clubs that would have turned you away before, but past that, I can't see that it really means much. Maybe 21 is the final farewell to the teenage years, because by then, the majority of your friends have hit twenty, so rather than a group of teenagers, you become a group of twenty somethings. That ambiguity makes it feel so much older!
But alas, my little old self feels the need to retreat to the safety of my bed, with my knitting or Pride and Prejudice (the book)
