Panic Stations,

Have you ever noticed that everything seems to always happen at once?

At the moment, I feel like my head is falling off a little bit, because I know that I need to get more revision done for my three exams this week, I need to clean the house before a viewing tomorrow and there is an engineer here to FINALLY attempt to fix our internet. I'm also heading back to Manchester for the weekend on Saturday morning, and on the 8th of June, I'm flying out to Greece for two weeks. 

Now, that doesn't seem like overly much, but up until Saturday, I thought that everything with the house - well, not the internet - was sorted, however after two of my new housemates-to-be dropped out, I'm back on the search for someone to live with. Oh yay. 

I think that I get stressed when I look at a list of things to do and they're all pretty close together, or I feel like they are all pretty immediate, and there are a lot of things that I would rather do instead, and in all honesty, that happens all to often. Right now, all I want to do is carry on writing something I've been working on for a few weeks, but like I said, I have three exams this week, so I can't really. 

Right now, I just can't wait for this week to be over! 

I'm Free! -ish,

It's that time of year again when everyone is finishing their school year and getting all exited and there are those lovely...exams...and end of year courseworks...and ridiculously blue air where people haven't been able to keep their language under control. Yeah, I know what it's like, believe me.

Just a couple of hours before the deadline, I finally finished my last coursework piece of this year, and it felt amazing. The last couple of weeks have been dictated by this deadline, and though I still have exams to prepare for, somehow they aren't quite as scary, well, until the day before.

In just over two weeks time I will be free, my second year will be done and out of my hands, and I will be packing for my holiday to Greece. Oh yeah, I'm spending two weeks out there with sun, sea,...and dissertation reading? Maybe. I'll see how dead on my feet I am first. I want to actually kick myself into using all the time I have to write a pretty decent dissertation, but I also want to have time just to recharge a little, so we'll see. I also need to catch up on writing, but there will be no chance of me taking the laptop as it is proceeding with it's going...going...routine. Thankfully, I have a PC pretty much ready to go when this thing finally gives up, but I am impressed that it's managed the last five years.

Anyway, I'm off to play a couple a few rounds of 2048 before settling down for the night.

Oh Joy,

The stats page of this blog is always pretty interesting to me for more reasons than just viewing numbers. For those who've never used it, there's this wonderful map showing where your audience is across the world. It's pretty interesting actually... Oh, and there is that wonderful graph which shows that the most people view this during November (NaNoWriMo) and the early days of December, which I think is pretty cool. 

Of course though, there is more to me than just the blogger, the novelist and the WriMo, which almost sounds like the start of a bad joke. 

I'm a student in university that gets annoyed with a lot of the same things other students in London do. I get annoyed with how people make assumptions that because I'm a student, I sleep all day, party all night and use Wikipedia to write my essays. I get annoyed when I can't get books from my university library to finish an assignment. I get annoyed with assignments that are either too many words, not enough or when I feel like I'm metaphorically polishing a turd. I get annoyed by the price of housing, I get annoyed that landlords don't want to fix problems, and take forever about doing it. I get annoyed when I forget my pens or I drop my notes all over the floor. I get annoyed when I can't get my head around something or my neighbours are making too much noise for me to concentrate.

I'm also becoming a naturalised Londoner. I get annoyed with tube delays, and buses, and people. I get annoyed with Oxford Circus. I get annoyed with people who walk slowly. I get annoyed with four week suitcases that take up the space of an extra person on the pavement or on escalators. I get bored on the tube, but I've found my way of dealing with it - I practice French on my iPhone.

I'm a woman. I get annoyed for no reason. I get annoyed because of what I've read between the lines of the statement you haven't even fully formed in your head yet. I get annoyed because it's cold and I forgot my scarf, but even when little things annoy me, little things make me happy, too. Little things like you texting back, even when life is hectic.

Most of all, I'm human. I get annoyed when I can't figure out the answers. I get annoyed when I feel like I'm at the doctors every other week. I get annoyed at being upset or annoyed for no valid reason. I get annoyed with myself more than anyone else, and sometimes, the best way to get things which annoy me out of my system is just writing them down. 

I know what it's like to have a bad day - I have them a lot. I know what it's like to get angry at yourself for being upset or pissed off with everything. I know what it's like to feel like Atlas, carrying everything on your shoulders. And I'm glad I know what it's like to be able to put some of  it down.

As it gets to exam time, it's more important to be able to do that, so you have to find someone that you can share your troubles with - even if you need that to be a diary, or a councilor, rather than a family member or friend. You need to find a way to let go of some of the things which upset you, or annoy you, or hurt you, because the sum total of all your faults is not you - you are the person who learns to push back and deal with them. And you can.