Oh Joy,

The stats page of this blog is always pretty interesting to me for more reasons than just viewing numbers. For those who've never used it, there's this wonderful map showing where your audience is across the world. It's pretty interesting actually... Oh, and there is that wonderful graph which shows that the most people view this during November (NaNoWriMo) and the early days of December, which I think is pretty cool. 

Of course though, there is more to me than just the blogger, the novelist and the WriMo, which almost sounds like the start of a bad joke. 

I'm a student in university that gets annoyed with a lot of the same things other students in London do. I get annoyed with how people make assumptions that because I'm a student, I sleep all day, party all night and use Wikipedia to write my essays. I get annoyed when I can't get books from my university library to finish an assignment. I get annoyed with assignments that are either too many words, not enough or when I feel like I'm metaphorically polishing a turd. I get annoyed by the price of housing, I get annoyed that landlords don't want to fix problems, and take forever about doing it. I get annoyed when I forget my pens or I drop my notes all over the floor. I get annoyed when I can't get my head around something or my neighbours are making too much noise for me to concentrate.

I'm also becoming a naturalised Londoner. I get annoyed with tube delays, and buses, and people. I get annoyed with Oxford Circus. I get annoyed with people who walk slowly. I get annoyed with four week suitcases that take up the space of an extra person on the pavement or on escalators. I get bored on the tube, but I've found my way of dealing with it - I practice French on my iPhone.

I'm a woman. I get annoyed for no reason. I get annoyed because of what I've read between the lines of the statement you haven't even fully formed in your head yet. I get annoyed because it's cold and I forgot my scarf, but even when little things annoy me, little things make me happy, too. Little things like you texting back, even when life is hectic.

Most of all, I'm human. I get annoyed when I can't figure out the answers. I get annoyed when I feel like I'm at the doctors every other week. I get annoyed at being upset or annoyed for no valid reason. I get annoyed with myself more than anyone else, and sometimes, the best way to get things which annoy me out of my system is just writing them down. 

I know what it's like to have a bad day - I have them a lot. I know what it's like to get angry at yourself for being upset or pissed off with everything. I know what it's like to feel like Atlas, carrying everything on your shoulders. And I'm glad I know what it's like to be able to put some of  it down.

As it gets to exam time, it's more important to be able to do that, so you have to find someone that you can share your troubles with - even if you need that to be a diary, or a councilor, rather than a family member or friend. You need to find a way to let go of some of the things which upset you, or annoy you, or hurt you, because the sum total of all your faults is not you - you are the person who learns to push back and deal with them. And you can. 

I Can't Even,

I'm irritable now, which might be at least partly down to the instant coffee, but it's mostly down to this. 

At university this year, I'm studying seven modules. With procrastination being a lot easier, even if far less productive, than reading the essay and actually, I don't know, writing it!, I've been looking up a couple of the textbooks for this module and here's what I found:

Two of the books are more than twenty quid on Amazon. It's really annoying me! I get that the latest edition of the book, in perfect condition with next day shipping and everything like that is going to cost a bit more, but I'm used to being able to go to Amazon and get books for under a fiver. I like those days. I've not even finished the list of books I want for this course and the total is up to fifty quid, excluding delivery! I'm sorry Amazon, but I can't afford that. 

Okay, I need to qualify can't afford that. 

Fifty quid on books is a bit ridiculous since the university does technically have a few copies of most of them and the central library for our university probably has the rest, but it's been recommended we have our own copies of the core text books, and I understand why. What's more, I like having the copies of them.

I can afford forty quid on boots today, because a, they're burgundy and beautiful, b, I've been staring at them for weeks, c, they are really comfortable, d, I haven't had any calf length boots for years and my footsies get cold and most importantly THEY WERE 60% OFF!!!

Yeah. 

I know it ought to be simple maths, and perhaps if I had known the cost of the books before, I would have....no, I wouldn't. I can't borrow shoes from a library!! 

Anyway, I have happily found one of the expensive ones on eBay, so that shouldn't be too bad, and I can just raid the reliable charity shops when I go home and see if I can find a few of them cheaper!