Before I lived in my flat in Sutton, I had previously lived alone in a little studio around the corner in a place called Hackbridge and I realised that living in a studio did not work for me.
As studios went, it was a decent size, but the kitchen was really small and the backroom was really small, and ridiculous because someone put the wrong pump into the shower when they fitted it, so to get it to run, you had to take the showerhead off of the wall and hold it low in the shower tray until it came on. There was a decent amount of storage for such a little place and I had my own parking space, but the idea of the sofa also being your bed didn't work for me, because I'm only just okay with the thing of making my bed each morning before leaving the house, never mind having to make it back into a sofa each morning and then remake the bed each night. I moved out of there because the landlady was making my life hell on earth for a few weeks, and I figured it was a good time to look for something cheaper and save towards a deposit on my own place... This was about five years ago, so it tells you how well that went.
After a "false start" of a move that still gives me palpitations thinking about it, I moved in with two blokes in their thirties who were professionals and mostly everything ticked along just fine. I say mostly - the landlord, who was one of the blokes, and I butted heads a few times over a few different things, but the biggest thing was his refusal to call me by the name that I asked him to, Charlie, and his insistence on using my full name. He argued it was about respect, and I argued it was anything butt. He also had a thing about putting his face right near anything I was cooking if he thought that it smelt good and that just upsets me. I don't like people's faces near my food. After a year of living there, I realised that having housemates just doesn't really suit me, and the hour and a half plus commute to my new job was a killer as well, so I decided it was time to move again.
When I found the flat in Sutton, I was being given the run around by the people who were organising the viewings, but thankfully they listed it with another estate agent who wasn't requiring block bookings when I was in work and took me to see my flat and the flat opposite one evening. I'd been to see the building before when I was looking for my first studio, though that was in the private section of the building, and surprisingly I would have paid more per month for that studio than I have ever paid for my one-bedroom flat.
They were getting new carpets in and painting done and it was all going to be, I thought, quite lovely. I was looking forward to having the bigger of the two flats, but I had a strict timeline. It was September, so my parents were going to Greece for two weeks and I had my little man Teddy to look after, so the move had to happen at a very specific time, or it wouldn't be happening at all. Unfortunately, the dates didn't work out for me to have the bigger flat, but in some ways, that's been a blessing.
In 'Part One' of this blog, I mentioned the light in the flat. It's amazing. Granted, at five in the morning during the summer it makes me wish I had blackout blinds and a sleep mask, but it's great to be able to throw open the blinds and have the sun pouring in, and it seems to have been sunny pretty often whilst I've lived there. I've crashed out on the living room floor treating it like a balcony with the huge windows open, enjoying the sun and the sounds and the breeze, I've sat in my armchair by the open windows and read Pride and Prejudice cover to cover. I have loved a lot of the time in that flat because I have been able to spend some good time by myself.
A couple of NaNoWriMos ago, I put my big wooden chopping board on top of the cooker, propped my laptop up on there and had a wireless mouse and a gaming keyboard on the breakfast bar. It was right next to the kettle and I kept tea making things by my right side, biscuits and snacks by my left and there I was comfortable enough to crack through my first every twenty thousand word day (writing twenty thousand words in twenty-four hours). The last NaNoWriMo, I had my coffee machine sat next to me, with the hot plate keeping my filter coffee warm in the jug as I wrote. I was in my element.
I felt safe there because there was an intercom for the door and several flights of stairs up to my place. That being said, I have struggled with my anxiety because I've been too isolated because central London and my friends are so far away and because of how noisy the high street can be at night, but that could happen anywhere. The space I had there meant I was able to have people come and stay and I loved that.
I've loved having a wardrobe full of Lindy Bop dresses, wearing lipstick that some people consider far too red and having a cupboard full of twenty different kinds of tea, all of which are open at once because I love them all and like to decide what I want like I'm in a coffee shop. I love having many 'favourite' mugs which make me happy for all sorts of reasons, and I love that I can shut the blinds, put my headphones in and dance around in my underwear because it's my place and no one has a key to be able to let themselves in. I've loved being able to be my happy ridiculous self without having anyone to explain it to, and it's something I will miss. I'm going to miss choosing my JJs (pyjamas) based solely on what I'm going to be comfortable in and not who might run into my on a midnight loo run, who might come into my room to wake me up (I ignore alarm clocks with alarming frequency) or how long I'm sitting downstairs in the living room with my dad, and whether one of the neighbours might come around to borrow something from Dad's garage and I might have to answer the door. Being able to do whatever you want, within reason, is really freeing.
The flat has also been good because of its location. Whilst Sutton is a very hilly high street, it has three large supermarkets, a big Waterstone's a library, several gyms, Greggs, coffee shops - both chains and independents - a massive TK Maxx and so much more. It has been incredible to have all of that almost literally on my doorstep. If I need something to make dinner, I can stop at Morrisson's on my way home; I walk past it to get from the train station to the flat. If I want to go for a pint with a friend, there are about seven or eight pubs and a couple of bars between the train station and my flat, and if I need almost anything, Wilko is around the other side of the building. I was home for six days whilst I cleaned, packed and patched up the paintwork on some of the walls and I was in Wilko every day picking up food for Teddy because it's the cheapest place that stocks his food (half the price of Waitrose and two thirds what Tesco charges. Given it's a four-box pack and he eats up to three boxes a day, that means getting it at the best price is a serious thing). We ended up having to pack twenty-two boxes of dog food into the van to come home with, but it was worth it. Also, compared to everything else that was in there, that wasn't really so bad.
I've loved the area, loved the people and if it were possible, it would probably be pretty high on my list of where to move to when it comes time to go back to London, but I'm trying to be realistic and that means Sutton is likely to be out of my price range considering what I want and being on a Civil Service salary, but I'm glad to have lived there. I'm really glad to have had the experiences of living there and it makes me look at other properties differently. Previously the lack of a lift wouldn't have phased me, because I was two floors up in Hackbridge and that never really seemed to bother me, but here the stairs have been exhausting. Sometimes, that's been a good thing, because when it was raining, I did some stair running to build my fitness and that really worked, but as a day to day thing, I could do without it.
I've also realised though, I am too content by myself to consider buying something bigger and making myself need to rent out a 'spare room' as I know other people have done. Although you have the opportunity to vet people and make sure that you're setting the house rules, I think it's a level of stress that I just don't need, so I'm going to be really conscious about the costs of running a flat or property and if I would need to think about a lodger, it's just not going to be worth it, in my eyes.
Anyway, the only thing left to do now is pop down, finish the painting, throw a few things into the rubbish that didn't make it yesterday because we just wanted to get on the road and grab a coat, a blow-up mattress and a blanket, then hand the keys back to the landlords and come home. For most intents and purposes, I no longer have an address in London, and after so long, that's really weird, but here's to a new start and going home soon.
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