Once upon a time, I remember when Cancer was the only big C that people tended to be worried about and it was talked about in hushed tones and as if saying the word could summon it, but that seems to have changed a little over the last few months.
I went through something where the big C could have referred to a certain dire profanity as a name for someone that my mother has taken to referring to as Billy Liar. Personally, I just use his name or that S***house. Then COVID happened and obviously, the big C was the coronavirus. It's something that hasn't really been talked about in hushed tones the way that Cancer always has been, but it's something which some have lived in fear of and others haven't been bothered by. There are probably a lot of stories where people have floated the rules and then experienced the big K of karma by falling ill, but there's a lot of stories as well of people floating the rules and not getting it, like those people who have smoked a twenty deck a day and live well past the age where many of their peers have succumbed to other illnesses. I've also heard of people who were so worried about their other illnesses that could make COVID even more dangerous that they haven't left their homes in months, and yet they still have got the virus, and they haven't really known how.
It's a scary thing, don't get me wrong. When others have been flouting the rules or have been doing things that make life harder for everyone else, it's hard not to be angry and it's hard not to be scared. I get snarky and sarcastic with people and I wish I carried a detol spray in my bag to spray them with when they walk too close to me, but then nobody is perfect. I sat and sewed masks for my family and I, and yet I know we don't always wear them when we're out of the house, and we probably should. In the early days of lockdown, I went for a run and on the same day went out later to take my dog for a walk, and depending on whose version of the rules you look at, that might have been breaking them, but my dog runs in front of me when I run and I have kicked him before, unintentionally as he darted across the front of me towards something smelly, and he needs to be walked to 'do his business' and I need to run for my Mental Health and wellbeing.
I know I've been pretty lucky. I was annoyed when the NHS clap seemed to turn into a fireworks parade because my dog has panic attacks. I've had to increase my meds because throughout the pandemic I have felt an overwhelming sense of dread, but other than that, the people I know who got the virus survived. I didn't lose anyone from my family to the virus. We lost someone in the last few days, but that's been coming for years. It's still heartbreaking and it's awful not to be able to go to his funeral and hug his family and mourn with them, but overall, we've been really lucky.
This is going to be something that affects a lot of people because of other things, like a few of my friends who are pregnant, like the WriMos whose yearly social time is NaNoWriMo and everyone who has had to be shielding for the last few months. Everyone is having to adjust a little bit - wearing masks is a bit annoying, because it makes your face hot, but it's not a major problem for the majority of people. Hand sanitizer is shredding the skin on my hands to pieces, but as long as I make sure I carry my own, it's fine. Some people will be hyper-vigilant for a while. Anyone with a bit of a germ phobia will likely really struggle. Maybe we will all be a bit more cautious, but something tells me that it won't be everyone. With how a lot of people have acted in lockdown, I really don't think that it will change everyone, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't one of the people who was really worried about what happens next. As much as we got through one lockdown, I think it would be really miserable to go through that again during the winter because the weather up here is horrific in the winter, it's really cold and you lose space by not having the garden to use as an extra room. The whole mood of the season seems more depressed as well, which wouldn't be helpful for anyone. COVID and seasonal flu could be an absolute disaster, but I am trying not to worry myself whilst keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be okay.
I'll keep on sewing masks together and giving them to people who need them and donating some of the proceeds to Macmillan and spending the rest of the money on things like the ever depleting amount of elastic that I need to use to make them fit and the cool material I'm using to cover the masks. I've made Manchester Bee ones that are the cutest thing ever and I have London themed prints on the pile for making into some really cute ones. I'll keep carrying my sanitizer, so I don't keep reacting to the really high alcohol stuff that some of the shops are using at the moment, and I'm going to keep wearing long-sleeved things so I can use the sleeves when I need to do things like press the buttons on lifts or use the keys on a pin pad because I don't trust how often they are cleaned. We're managing to stay in most of the time, only going out for things which we need, though a bit more than the urgent supplies of a few weeks ago. We have been out to get things like clothing and my mum has been out to look at new curtains for the rooms that we decorated, but the good thing is that we have been going out as early as we can to make sure the stores aren't packed and Mum goes out during the week when things are less busy. Life isn't going to be normal again until I'm back in London and my parents get their place back to themselves, and my mum can move back into her office upstairs which is currently my office and sewing room. My machine lives in there and so do all of the numerous elastics and fabrics that I need to make the masks and another project that I'm working on to create a cushion cover for my grandad's favourite cushion. If we keep plodding on, then one day this will all be over.
Charlieswrite
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