I Don't Feel Like Sharing,

I haven't written a blog post in three months.

There's a reason that the above line has a strike through it; it's simply not true. 

Whilst it has been three months since I published a blog post, that doesn't mean that it's been three months since I wrote one. I feel like I have a list of drafts on here as long as my arm, but most are only half finished, or I couldn't bring myself to press the 'Publish' button. Even though the readership of this blog is pretty small, it can be really hard to share what's on my mind sometimes, but writing it down, saving it into the drafts and hoping I feel braver later, that can help. 

I recently had to accept that I wasn't okay. I wasn't quite at the panic attack stage, or close to the depression stage, just the alarm bells are going off and we need to do something now before it all goes to crap sort of place. There were a few reasons and there have been ups and downs since, but I'm, thankfully, getting back to something that looks like normal (for me).

Surprisingly, one of the ups was Manchester. 

I'm not talking about spending two weeks with my amazing (even if a little clingy) dog or seeing friends that I've not seen in months, or even just getting to chill out in the city center and realise how Manchester is still, after all this time, my home. Strangely I'm talking about the response to the attack.

I had warned a few people in the office that I was likely to be less than my normal self on the anniversary, and it was amazing to see that when someone made a crass joke that was probably all I needed right then as an excuse to go into full-on meltdown, my colleagues "handled" that person so I could pull myself together a bit. 

When I think of what people have done in the wake of that attack, I am amazed, I am stunned, I am so proud to be a Mancunian, but I am never surprised. Even the bee colony moving into the Trees of Hope in Manchester City Centre didn't surprise me really - it just seemed fitting, as did the sing-a-long. I wanted to be there, but listening to it on Key103 was almost good enough. Whilst the song 'Don't Look Back in Anger' has become as attached to that event as the worker bee, it's amazing to see people doing just that. Solidarity over sadness, Love over anger. The message of hate of one almost nameless man has been drowned out by the wondrous outpouring of love, pride, and togetherness showing such a strength, and it inspires me to feel stronger, to be stronger. 

The Calm,

This past week I have been back at my parents' place in Manchester except for one epic trek out into Derbyshire. Whilst that trek gave me a new appreciation for Pride and Prejudice I am by no means falling over myself to do it again. The rest of the time I have been at home with my pup doing a fat lot of not very much, because this is kind of my holiday. 

Although I was terrified before I came up that I was going to get bored, it has actually been nice to go walking with the dog, get chatting to the other dog owners and vegetate in front of the television with no responsibility. (Yes, it is a bit like reverting back to my teenage years, but with the addition of the canine component.)

Much as I love my dog, and I really do love the little guy, it is weird living with him, because prior to this week I never have before. Every time I sit down to eat, he wants to come in the door or go out of the door so he can pee in the garden, every time I get snacks (and I really like my snacks) he's looking at me with these big, puppy eyes as though he hasn't eaten in weeks and wants everything that I'm having. Seriously, this dog will play at being starving even when his favourite food is in his bowl! And then there is a the exercise issue. 

I am well aware that I am neither the most motivated, nor the most proficient at exercising, however when trying to run through YouTube exercise videos, he kept putting his butt in my face, when I, finally, finished an abs video, he jumped onto my aching abs making them hurt even more. And then there was the run. Deciding that he needed to be tired out slightly due to the insane amount of beans he was displaying and needing to have a run myself, I took him along with me. All seemed to be going pretty well, until he decided, with no warning to cut across the front of my path directly where my feet were, then stared at me as though I had stood there and kicked him on purpose. 

That being said, when I returned from Derbyshire yesterday, feeling pretty sick and tired and just wanting my bed, it was lovely to be able to cuddle him and give him a kiss. His, almost, unconditional love (much more reliable when plied with treats) made me feel better when all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed and sleep for a week. 

Anyway, the additional wonderful thing is that I have another week of this. Although puppy wouldn't be too happy if he knew that his parents were away for another week, he thankfully understands that I am better than nothing, which is a plus point.

Catch you later. 

Oh Lorde,

Dear dear, everything is ever such a rush. 

I'm back in Manchester at the moment, and have been for about 28 hours after feeling like I had to rush across London in order to get my train, and felt like I had barely got on to the train before I was getting off in Manchester Piccadilly. I was trundling down Market Street with my suitcase in tow to get back to my mother's house. 

I felt like I had been running around like a crazy person the night before and that morning in order to make sure that I have everything with me. It's a flying visit, as ever, but being away from my home makes me anxious. Being away from my PC, my notebooks and my library (well, the half that isn't under my bed up here) makes me incredibly anxious. Much as the train journey between the two places is really quick, the flitting back and forward isn't overly simple and I always end up looking like Queen of the Bag Ladies - especially when I'm heading back home! 

It's been good so far though, because I'm not having to cook or worry too much about anything. It's nice to be able to have a little time to relax, because it feels like I have been working somewhat solidly since the day I finished university and I've been a little bit 
knackered. 

Anyway, it's lovely to be able to spend some time with friends and share graduation memories (which have not long since passed) and spend a lovely Christmas with the family. 

Merry Christmas to all, and remember - your present is still on Amazon if you haven't yet downloaded a copy of Fairies. :)

Manchester Part 3,

I was just in the bath thinking: "This has been a great trip home. I've had the chance to hang out with my friends a lot and there haven't been any sightings of..." and then one of the eight legged fiends ran across my bathroom floor. Naturally, I dealt with this like any adult: I screamed for my dad, who made sure that the five legged beastie went for a rather long swim down the toilet. Yes, five legged, because three of them came off when my dad bitch slapped it into the bath mat. (Washing that tomorrow.) Anyway, there was no way I was touching that, so my brother had the joys of doing that one. I really don't deal well with insects...

Other than that, today has been PHENOMINAL! After I don't even remember how long, I got to see one of my favourite girls in the entire world: Alice. :D

Most people would ask me if my brain had been scrambled when they got the text I sent her to arrange today, but she's on my wavelength, so calling her Dawkins and singning off the text as Hume - after admitting to becoming increasing sceptical of her continuing existence - was something pretty normal, so naturally I got an equally odd reply. The only tragedy of the day came in that she didn't trust her stomach enough to contain itself, and her excitment while we went on the big (technical terminology coming up) spinny, lifty merry go round style thingymagig which currently is taking up half of Piccadilly Gardens and ruining the grass, but thankfully, it appeared to be as much fun to watch me nearly poop my pants when I realised it went higher than I had anticipated. 

Anyway, as much as the social side of this trip home has been amazing, I have done little else other than procrastinate with some of the best mates on the planet. 

I will point out however that future posts of the blog/novel will be containing the label/hashtag blovel. :)

P.s. I love you guys!

Manchester Part 2,

Now that Craptop is behaving itself I can finally get this written, but first, a couple of moans:

1. The transport system in Manchester is a pile of ___________ (insert favourite profanity)
2. I think I need a children's Snuggie, since the sleeves are too far apart in mine 
3. My laptop sucks 

Anyway...since I've been back in Manchester, I've been meeting up with a lot of my old friends, and also running into people I haven't seen in years, which has been pretty odd, but ultimately interesting. Yesterday, I saw one of my old friends who essentially looks like he has a whole new face (it has been AT LEAST a year and a half, probably more like two years, since I've seen him though) and it was like, oh, hello beautiful. Interestingly though, I feel like nothing has changed. We still play video games together, I still suck at them, and they still - very accommodatingly might I add - set up the game in a different way so that it's almost impossible for me to lose. By the way, I love you guys! 

Today then brought about my very geeky side. Since the destruction of the blanket I have been OBSESSIVELY knitting to try and replace the patches that were essentially mashed and had to go in the bin, but that does mean I do things like knitting on the bus to town or in the cinema or watching the TV (or all of the above....guilty) I also hang around comic book stores and spend too much money on graphic novels, but if you've ever seen how beautiful The Watchmen and Kingdom Come are, you'll have to understand. 

Even better, Josh and I both proved our age (in our heads, somewhere between 62 and 90~) by sitting through another film, verbally tearing it apart and then admitting to having thoroughly enjoyed it. Jack the Giant Slayer and Warm Bodies (it's really odd that both films we've chosen to see recently have the same male lead) have both received the same treatment, but as I said, we really enjoyed them. 

Now if only I could find some time to edit that blasted novel!!!

P.s. CELEBRATING THE 1500 views!!! :) 

Camomile Tea,

So, currently I'm sat in my bed with a cup of camomile tea, half a blanket and a tub full of patches of wool. Am I constructing a blanket? No, I'm taking one apart.

I started making this "thing" when I was fourteen, which I always think of as not very long ago until I realise that I am in fact now twenty and no longer able to class myself as a teenager. Anyway. The bottom half is a bit scraggly to say the least, since I wasn't overly dexterous at that age, and I was pathetically bad at knitting. My short attention span is also evident since the patches are teeny tiny. Fast forward six years and they are all large beautiful, if not oddly shaped, patches.

So what was the problem?

My blanket was almost a fricking triangle. Seriously, the top was AT LEAST six inches wider than the bottom, sothe natural OCD like thing to do is take the whole thing apart.

Now, you may wonder why I'm telling you this.

I'm telling you this to describe the frame of mind that I'm currently in, because I feel that is more constructive than once again apologising for the lack of another of my novels on amazon. For those who care, okay, I'm sorry, but I'm getting on it. Honestly.

Suitable for Vegetarians,

So, in preparation for the fact that I'm going to *attempt* to spend a full week of Lent following a vegan lifestyle, I walked around ASDA today checking what I can actually eat during that week. Here's what I found: 

Pretty much everything that was vegetarian possessed a wonderful stamp on the front of the packaging to say that it is approved by the Vegetarian society, but there were very few products made for the main market - as in, veggies, vegans and meat eaters alike - that actually bare a label saying that they are suitable for vegans, so instead of a nice quick look on the front of the package, you have to go through the ENTIRE LIST OF INGREDIENTS just to check there's no egg, or milk, or cheese. Here's another thing. Is yeast vegan? I have no idea what it even is!! Okay, apparently it's okay, so that's fine, but still, it would be nice to have a helpful little label on the front of the package, but apparently it puts off meat eaters because they think it's stuff with lentils or something else healthy or whatever. 


Now, I realise this is a little bit late now, but I want to write it anyway, considering how cool this is. I got an electric typewriter. Now, I've had one at my house for a while, but it's not technically mine - it just happens that the owner of it is too damn lazy to come pick it up. Yes Spoons, I'm talking to you - however now, at my house in Manchester there is a lovely Brother GX-300 called Hephi and he's all mine!! :) Best thing I ever got on Valentine's Day. 

I also have a ridiculous amount of corrector tape for him, which might tell you how well I do with typing, but he does have a screen as well, so I can check over everything before it actually gets committed to the page. ~ I can't wait to see him again. 

 

So Yesterday,

I got up at half five..okay, twenty to six, and went to Manchester on the coach. My intention was to go and see one of my tutors from my sixth form, but just as my luck goes, he wasn't there. On the plus side, I did get to do the rounds of my other tutors, say hi to everyone and get my hair done!! Oh, and spend some money in The Bead Shop, but we're just not going to talk about that one...

On the way back I decided that I really can't stand the majority of Lawson's songs, and the irritating thing about that is that they make up about half of my Kindle playlist!!, so I spent the five hours it took to drive back listening to Ben Folds Five, Emeli Sande and Fun. (I've linked you to my favourite songs) and then sat there editing Yours, adding some more bits in that were meant to be tehre and playing spot the typo, which is like a crap, easy version of Where's Wally.

I also spent most of the day spamming my Twitter with basically everything that I wanted to say. It was good fun. Admittedly it's mostly random stuff, but it's good fun, and sometimes it can help you see where my inspiration comes from, which I've been told is reasonably interesting. So if you have Twitter the link is up there, or you can find me by searching @CharliesWrite. If you don't have Twitter, you can still keep up with all the latest news and such by "Like"ing my author page on Facebook - search Charlie Yarwood - Charlieswrite or click on the linky here Facebook Author Page Linky :) I use Twitter mainly for Instagram posts and also when I'm out to be all 'hmm, isn't this interesting/annoying/odd/I'M BORED!', but the author page tends to be more like, 'Here's what's going on in my life&writing! ...'

Both of them will also let you know when I post new blogs, so if you like the ones prior to this one, because let's face it, this is more of a publicity blog entry than anything else (for which I apologise, but it's good to get it out there!) then it'll let you know when there is more of the same. Or you can follow me on here. That's cool too...

Anyway, I'm off to work. Yays and happy joy joy.

Charlie x

:{P

EDIT: I just realised that I made no mention of the big old house move which is pretty atrocious!

I've moved to the wonderful and lovely Roehampton, so finally out of Elephant and Castle!! :) It took my parents, me and a van to get my considerable amount of stuff over to the new house which I'm sharing with three lovely ladies. Most of that stuff is still sat in boxes at the end of my room, because I'm yet to have a spare minute to figure out where the bloody hell all of it is going, but I'll get there I'm sure. Not tonight though, since I'm going to be in late again. Anyway, yes, work time. x