Well, That Was Clever,

There are decisions that people make that from the outside, other people can't help but look at and think, how does that work? Or how does that make sense? And honestly, most of the time it's because the reasons for something are completely different because we all have different perspectives and it can take a while for these things to be visible. Obviously, I have an example. 

Next year I will have been vegetarian for around twenty years, so we're past the point it's been over half of my life and a few other significant milestones. With everything with the pregnancy I've also been confronting a lot of my issues around food and the fact that even if I don't have an "eating disorder" in the classic sense of anorexia or bulimia, I definitely struggle with disordered eating and it's most likely connected to the fact I have ADHD, or possibly the fact that several of my mental health team have stated it's highly likely I'm also autistic.

It would be completely untrue to say that I didn't have symptoms of this prior to going vegetarian, but most of them were seen as me just being a fussy eater, but I'm not sure if the problems got better or worse when I went veggie. 

The thing is, I'm not good with change. Quorn and other meat replacements are pretty good because they are consistent and being consistent and reliable is a good thing for me. Knowing what to expect and being able to expect that every time eases some of the anxiety around food. The problem is over the last twenty years a lot of different brands have come into the UK market and released products that have been varying degrees of awful or incredible, but these products don't often stick around. I could write an ode of love to the faux prawn sandwich that Aldi brought out a few years ago; that thing was beautiful. They also previously made a faux smoked salmon that I adored, which came back for Veganuary and then seemed to stay, but I haven't seen it in a little while (but we're on the eve of Veganuary again so hopefully it'll be back in soon...) but equally there was a tuna replacement that I tried once that made me gag and Linda MacCartney sausages taste like rubbish to me because they're too dry and gross. I'm also not big on their freezer mock duck, but the tinned stuff in gravy by Granovita was just incredible, and even that has disappeared. There was the Like Meat Schnitzel, too, there one day and then gone the next... 

I understand that this is because these products get launched and there will be others like me that are reluctant to try them, or that are priced out of some of them because some veggie products are expensive and then there's the really annoying one of products being developed using egg whites, because apparently they're an industry byproduct, so products can be made more cheaply, but then vegans can't/ won't have them, and when it's something like Quorn Fishes Fingers or the other parts of their fish range that died a dead, pescatarians won't eat them either, because they'd just eat the fish... 

Within all of this you've also got the group of vegetarians who don't use meat replacements for various reasons (not liking the taste or the texture of meat, the dishes that they typically cook for themselves not 'requiring' a meat substitute etc) and those who go vegetarian for health reasons, who look on a lot of meat replacement products as they would chicken nuggets - too processed and too beige, so making a new product work in the vegetarian market is HARD. There are some places that do it incredibly well and some that try and fall on their asses, but even the really good ones aren't guaranteed to last. I don't think it's that many years ago (but my ability to timeline isn't brilliant) that Temple of Seitan in Camden was potentially going to shut, and that would have been a total shame because they are beyond incredible!! 

So, what does this have to do with me? Honestly, it's mostly the fact that even when I try new products, which can be a pain to make myself do, then there's no point getting overly attached to something brand new, because the likelihood of it serving long term is... well, it's not great. Though if people avoid it so as not to get attached to it in case it disappears, it definitely will...

Being vegetarian limits my food choices and when I struggle with food anyway, it was probably not the best decision, but it's a decision I made because of loving animals as opposed to hating meat, so the lack of logic between all the change in the vegetarian food market/ scene and my ND brain not coping with change and remembering how good LikeSchnitzel was however many years later wasn't even a little bit of a consideration back then. Now it's just annoying... 

I Don't Hate Vegans, But,

 part of the "vegan messaging" I've seen recently is really annoying me. 

Something I have realised since moving out of London is that vegetarian options elsewhere are more limited and that's really frustrating a lot of the time. Generally the landscape of vegetarian food has been making some really interesting changes, partly because bigger organisations are trying new things and some of them are great, but smaller companies are not really surviving or being stocked in large places because when costs are being squeezed, the cost of faux meat is pretty high and it is the sort of thing that actually, dietarily, it's not integral, but it's a nice to have. If you know vegetarian cooking, you can make good food without it, and if you don't Margherita pizza and chips is way cheaper anyway.

Particularly around Christmas I struggle because the typical vegetarian options tend to be things like mock-beef wellington or some form of pie and I have a real aversion to pastry, and it can make me feel quite sick. A lot of places are doing better vegetarian options than when I moved to London, but the problem that I have currently is this idea that comes from vegans where it's being suggested that restaurants and eateries of all varieties make all of their vegetarian options as vegan options, because all vegetarians can eat vegan, but vegans can't eat everything vegetarian. Whilst I understand it, I completely disagree and that's for a number of reasons.

The first one is dietary autonomy. 

Anyone who has ever been to my house, since I bought this place, will know that I'm actually pretty open to people bringing whatever they eat into my home. I did used to be a bit more of a pain in the ass about it - mainly because the idea of anything with meat contaminating my food was enough to make me want to be sick - but these days as long as no one is trying to get me to eat anything I don't want to, I kind of don't mind, although if there was raw chicken involved I am a bit manic about cleaning. It's my choice what I eat, and for that to include eggs and cheese and honey, so I don't think it's really fair for vegans to decide that vegetarians should be eating vegan just because that works better for them. 

The second is that there are things in vegan food I just hate. 

Most vegan cheese includes coconut oil, and honestly, it's disgusting. Mostly with vegetarian food it's the exclusion of a relatively small list of ingredients, but with vegan food, the number of ingredients which can't be used is a lot, and not being able to use things like butter, or eggs to bind things, means the use of other ingredients which not everyone is used to, not everyone likes, and that make it exceptionally difficult for people with sensory issues to cope with. Even things like vegan cake have a different consistency and texture, so being forced into that being potentially your only option doesn't seem fair. 

The third this is that this argument isn't adding options to a v/ve menu at all. In most places now there are at least two to three v/ve options on the menu, but arguing that all of these should be vegan doesn't expand the number of dishes on offer, making there be three or four choice or more, it just means that there are the same number, or actually, for some there would be less, because you can't make vegan halloumi fries (or you can, but they would be expensive and most probably made of coconut oil) and there are a number of dishes which would go through the same. Whilst it would be lovely for chefs and cooking schools to value vegan cooking as highly as 'normal' cooking, and to make sure that staff are equipped to produce decent meals which are suitable for people with all dietary requirements, I think that's something which is a longer term goal than just offering the easy fix of 'make all the veggie options vegan'. We're only on day 4 of Veganuary and it's already getting on my nerves. 

Don't You Know, I'm...,

I started off Veganuary thinking that whilst this was not going to be easy, it wouldn't make me feel like a fish out of water, so to speak, but then it happened. 

Suddenly everything that I enjoyed eating was off the menu and it was like going through the same process that I did ten years ago only more difficult, because this time, I'm the one doing the cooking and not my mother. Adding to that that I didn't run out of everything non-vegan before January started so it is now sitting in my cupboard and staring at me every time I open the door. 

That being said, in some ways it is still easier than I originally thought it might be at my weaker moments, and I'm getting better at spotting what is and what is not on my allowed list, even if I have had one slip up.

To try and make my life a little bit easier, I decided to head up to Alexandra Palace for the Vegan Life Live event. The problem was that technical issues meant that I didn't get there until late, so the whole place was packed and I kept bumping into the same bloody woman and her gaggle of idiotic children. To hear her speak you would have thought that she was the world's first vegan and her little "cherubs" were the first things under 18 to be raised on a vegan diet. 

Overall though, it was a fun event and a nice little way to get out of the house for the day, although getting the tickets for free is no good when they're offering enough deals that it is necessary to buy certain things rather than have to order them on the internet later. 

All in all though, I have realised that, despite the fact that in February I am going to have to go back to eating cheese and such, even if it is only to get rid of all of the things I still have in the cupboard, but it's not that hard or that expensive, so I will be making a conscious effort to reduce the amount of milk and egg products I am consuming and go from there. 

Painting the Roses Red,

I titled this a couple of days ago and I've been damned by the curse of brain farting that I do not know what I was going to attempt to say. 

This week has been dragging for me. It was broken up a little in the middle with an impressive interview which I will hopefully hear from soon, but I know that the most part of it was because I've been having to Google a lot of things about legal contracts and go back and forth between researching and advice and the yada yada ya. At the beginning of the week, I spoke to the Citizens Advice Bureau, and their person could not have been less helpful if he was trying. 

On the plus side, I'm doing reasonably well with cutting down the amount of milk I'm drinking, which is a big deal considering the fact that I drink a lot of coffee. I did see a video that kind of ground my gears a bit, because it basically stated that all veg*s (so, vegans and vegetarians) are the loud, outspoken types. Hi - I've never actually dated another vegetarian. 

I'm not a massive anomaly here, but it is true that when living with a veg* person, many people do actually cut the amount of meat/dairy products they consume, purely because it tends to be the other person doing the shopping/cooking, or it's easier to both have the same thing, and I accept that. HOWEVER, there are also those of us who don't shout about how everyone should do the same thing, and hate the people who do probably more than meat eaters do. 

I would just like to point out that I celebrated both my 21st birthday and my graduation in a steak house, because they do amazing food that doesn't have meat in (who knew!) and I bloody love Nando's, but I hate the surprise, and reluctance, on the faces of my dining companions because they seem to think I'm going to start - I don't know - throwing paint around or making animal noises. I don't know. 

The thing is, I accept that cows have been bred to be in a field for a limited amount of time, to produce milk and to then become burgers, I just don't want to be part of that. My decision. Your decision. (See that, they're both separate!) 

REASON FOR THE RANT:

Worse than someone shoving a burger down my throat (well, maybe not, because that I would probably choke on...) is someone jamming their opinion down my throat. (You came to my blog, you knew what you were doing, you did this to yourself!) 

I accept that I have a lot of opinions, but I don't mind people disagreeing with me. In fact, it is quite fun. What I hate, and what makes me quite loud, annoying and occasionally very rude, is people twisting my words, or jamming their opinion down my throat as if it is the only way of thinking.

If you have to argue it into objectivity, it is not objective. Objectivity is fact. The only thing which is objective about your opinion is that it is your opinion.

Decision Not Yet Made,

Last week I was writing about the possibility of making what could be major life decision, then I had another one pretty much dropped on me, so it has been bumped down the list like a few of my literary priorities. 

I have been having a long think about it, though, and that has brought me to the conclusion that several of my friends are correct and that going at this like a bull at a gate like I did with becoming a vegetarian, because otherwise I'm going to make myself ill like I did by not keeping an eye on my iron levels. 

What I am doing is stopping drinking actual milk, which is harder than I had thought it would be because tea does not taste the same with any other form of milk (and soy milk, which is most widely available, is most definitely not beautiful) and tea is a big deal to me, but it's important.

I'm not going to go on a big rant about why milk is bad and why it sucks that it's going to take time for Quorn to move their ranges away from using something from eggs that's considered as an industry byproduct, to a more expensive vegan ingredient, but I do feel the need to argue against something I recently read on Facebook. 

A lot of people who make a lot of noise about "preachy" vegetarians/vegans are actually pretty "preachy" about eating meat. The latest thing I have read from any of them was an article which essentially argued that vegetarians and vegans are responsible for animal deaths, too, because of the way we farm in this country and the wildlife which it affects. One of my friends describes it as a sliding scale - yes, we have an impact on the lives of other species, but we're significantly reducing that impact. 

Personally, I think it's more like living as closely to your ideas as humanly possible. In order to live in London, I have to accept that I can only afford to do a certain amount of things. I can't have a compost bin because I don't have a garden, I can't have a pet because of my contract, and I can't sleep because there are starlings nesting in my loft, and when I was looking at humane ways to persuade them to move out I found that they are losing a lot of their nesting space and obviously that is leading to declining populations, so I'm just going to have to get used to the chirping bastards. 

So I've turned into a packet reader, making sure I know exactly what I'm actually eating, instead of just blindly following what I think I should be going for because apparently putting that something is suitable for vegans on packaging can actually put other audiences off. 

Catch you later.

Suitable for Vegetarians,

So, in preparation for the fact that I'm going to *attempt* to spend a full week of Lent following a vegan lifestyle, I walked around ASDA today checking what I can actually eat during that week. Here's what I found: 

Pretty much everything that was vegetarian possessed a wonderful stamp on the front of the packaging to say that it is approved by the Vegetarian society, but there were very few products made for the main market - as in, veggies, vegans and meat eaters alike - that actually bare a label saying that they are suitable for vegans, so instead of a nice quick look on the front of the package, you have to go through the ENTIRE LIST OF INGREDIENTS just to check there's no egg, or milk, or cheese. Here's another thing. Is yeast vegan? I have no idea what it even is!! Okay, apparently it's okay, so that's fine, but still, it would be nice to have a helpful little label on the front of the package, but apparently it puts off meat eaters because they think it's stuff with lentils or something else healthy or whatever. 


Now, I realise this is a little bit late now, but I want to write it anyway, considering how cool this is. I got an electric typewriter. Now, I've had one at my house for a while, but it's not technically mine - it just happens that the owner of it is too damn lazy to come pick it up. Yes Spoons, I'm talking to you - however now, at my house in Manchester there is a lovely Brother GX-300 called Hephi and he's all mine!! :) Best thing I ever got on Valentine's Day. 

I also have a ridiculous amount of corrector tape for him, which might tell you how well I do with typing, but he does have a screen as well, so I can check over everything before it actually gets committed to the page. ~ I can't wait to see him again. 

 

Lent(ils)

So, for Lent Christians often decide to give something up. Others choose to dedicate more time to something, and some just choose to try and do something better.

I'm choosing option three and trying to be a better vegetarian, so that means no more Haribo, no more non-veggie mozzarella and I'm also going to spend a week trying to live with a vegan lifestyle. It means that I have to read all my clothes to see what contains wool or leather and then I can't wear those. :/ also, giving up cheese for a week. :(

I see Lent as a challenge, and I want to. I think I can do this, and I intend to keep it up afterwards - the good veggie thing, not the vegan thing...

Keep an eye out for the posts as to how it's going!!

That's Kind of Gross,

This whole thing with finding horse meat in Beef Lasagne makes me really glad that I don't eat meat anymore. Also, just so that you guys are aware when I get really grumpy - and it will happen - my intention for Lent this year is to be a proper vegetarian (Oh yeah, I'm going to become one of those annoying as packet readers!!) and to attempt to spend a week being vegan. I don't know how well it will go, and it definitely won't stick because I Love cheese and milk and eggs too much, but perhaps I can manage a week?

We'll see.

Also, I figure I should let you guys know the date of this, because it is what I am working towards. 7.3.2013 will mark the two year mark from when the CharliesWrite blog started (originally over on webs, before I realised this was infinitely better). I'm intending that day to be celebrated by the release of Yours, onto Kindle and also - possibly - into print. It all just depends on how all the editting and such goes, but keep your fingers crossed. Since Kindle Select gives you the option of five days free out of every three months, I think it might launch with a couple of days being free on the Kindle, but we'll just have to see about that one. :) I'm actually a little be excited. The problem with sorting out the print version is going to be writing the dedication, I feel. There are two different ones I want to write and I don't know which to choose! Argh. As the Platypus says, deal with it. (The Platypus is, of course, SpoonThePlatypus aka Sophie Greene)

Now I'm off to look into buying some of the new make-up I want from Illamasqua. Why is everything that is so beautiful, also so expensive?


P.s. Started writing the sequel to Fairies. This is going to be fun!