Final Countdown,

I know it is not quite the final countdown for NaNoWriMo just yet, but I am acutely aware of that countdown because I am going to be starting a new job soon. Actually, on the 31st October. What was I thinking?!

Yes, so I will be leaving a job I have loved for the last three months ready to start something new and whilst I am really excited about it, I am also bloody terrified, because I don't necessarily deal well with change and it's a whole lot of change all at once. I am changing jobs, then at midnight it's my first NaNoWriMo as an ML. I have both of those things to deal with and I need to be writing a new novel, too. Understandably I'm a little bit nervous. 

That is not to say in any way that I don't think I can do it - I know I can. I do well when I push myself. Pushing myself gets me to do more than I thought possible. I was hoping to make another attempt at a 15k day this year, but I think I am going to have to let that go. Particularly as I'm learning to drive also, and my instructor is anticipating I will be ready for a test in November. Once I am ready, I'm going to book in and just do it. I am sure I will probably fail once, but if I could get it out of the way before Christmas, that would be marvelous. 

I expect that this year will be intense. I've had a few ideas of things I might want to write, and I've also, as usual, got a few things that I'm doing at the moment that I am not going to want to put down, but the problem with that is that I can't rush them. I have a feeling that they need time to happen organically and I would rather do that than force them and then ruin them. 

See, this is an advantage of Team Planner. You can have done a lot of the thinking through everything so you know what you are writing and then it is a simple (no, not simple, but simpler) case of writing it down and progressing through your meticulous plans. The disadvantage of that for me is that if I plan too far ahead with writing, I get really, really bored. I like to essentially sit in the backseat and let my imagination take over and I can't really do that if I plan. 

I'm going to have to stop writing this about now because my head has suddenly decided it wants to ache and this is possibly going to turn into a migraine. I'm sat in a Pret in Central London with my sun glasses on just trying to make sure it doesn't get any more agitated. 

Catch you later. 

To Life,

So, as I mentioned in my last blog, I recently started a new job and it's ... I don't know what it is really. It's the sort of job that I really enjoy, because it's a process which is fantastic, because it gives me time to zone out when I have 'bad days' and that's a truly beautiful thing, then again, when hiccups happen in that process - which they do, all the time - I find myself getting frustrated and then distracted, because my brain doesn't seem to realise that there are problems which there is simply no point in fixing. The amount of aggravation involved makes it just not worth it.

One of the other problems with it is that my natural sleeping pattern doesn't have me waking up at 6am, and although that can easily be counteracted with an alarm, it's not so easy to force yourself to go to sleep. Unfortunately, there is no real way of making your brain go into stand by mode, which means I can have the best intentions of going to bed at 10pm but that doesn't mean it happens. Trust me, it rarely ever does.

Don't get me wrong, I've worked those kind of hours before, but I'm starting to understand why my mother is always so stressed out. Suddenly I'm trying to deal with a lot of cooking, and cleaning and other arrangements for things like house mates, and at some point I should probably get around to learning to drive, but where that's supposed to fit in, I really don't know. Up until about 1am today I hadn't been behind the wheel of a car in 3 years, which is crazy. 

And then there's writing... At the moment, I'm sat at a computer for the whole day, typing, but not for a novel or anything - for a job that actually pays, and by the time I come home, almost the last thing I want to do is get back behind a computer. I think it's only beaten by the washing up. If that were the only thing that seems to have gone puff out of my life recently, it wouldn't be so bad, but I don't read, I don't knit, let's face it, I never actually did the ironing for that to go out of the window. All I want is cuddles and sleep, maybe a little bit of a how was your day conversation. Is that too Disney and sickening?

I remember thinking, when I was young and naive(er) that life could only get easier as you grew up, because you had more freedom, and no parents watching over you. I wish I could go back in time and laugh in the face of that. Even still, I love my job, I love my house, I love the fact that this time next year, I will (fingers crossed, touching wood and avoiding ladders) graduate, and be able to think about a whole new chapter. 

So cheers to life; every complicated bit of it. 

Where's Home?,

I know it's been a long time since I posted a blog and for that I really do have to apologise. Last week, I was over happy and completely distracted by the beauty of the scenery in Greece and almost dying every time we were on the road. I wish I was kidding, but the route between our resort and the airport (and everything else) is littered with blind bends, but the Greeks don't seem to know that means you shouldn't be overtaking on the wrong side of the road. The over happy was added to when Ben arrived. I was so happy and so settled there that I cried getting on the plane and when the plane took off and when the plane flew back for a last look at the town and then turned back towards home. I cried more when Greece got through to the final 16 in the World Cup for the first time in the history of ever though. I was so proud, but it hurt a little inside that I wasn't in Greece to celebrate. I'm just settling down to watch their next game with all spare digits and limbs firmly crossed. I'm getting quite irritated though by all the wrong pronunciations of the Greek names!

Whilst I was out there, my awesome writing equipment collection was expanded by my acquisition of a glass blown quill. My parents and Ben foresaw it sitting at the bottom of drawer in my desk and that I would never use it, but I have been using it so far. It's amazing. It does mean that there are bottles of Quink across my coffee table at the moment though. 

Since I've been back, I've managed to complete a night shift (only the second of my life, and I'm still no fonder of them), join a temp agency, have a completely controlled, yet still unsuccessful trip to Oxford Street and have been given a full time temp job working in a field I'm actually both experienced and interested in! It's wonderful. Well, it will be until I have to get up at 6am again tomorrow. At least yesterday, and the rather soggy trip to Wimbledon, gave me a reminder of what that is like.

So after a fortnight where the biggest events were to do with overly large insects or tortoises or the lack of spinach pies in our favourite eatery, this week has been a pretty big culture shock. 

I have a lot to do at half time. Hopefully this will be a good match.