It's been about eighteen months now since I went to my first parkrun. I've done one half marathon and my next one is about four and a half weeks away. My first marathon is about nine and a half weeks away. By now, I should be racking up long distance runs like there is no tomorrow, but I'm not, so there is a phrase for how I will get through both of these races, and it's called Jeffing. I'm going to walk a bit and run a bit, but since I'll inevitably be swearing my way through it, let's just call it F*ing and Jeffing.
One of the reasons that I started running was because my mental health took 'a little dip'. It actually looked a little bit more like a kamikaze nose dive off a very steep cliff. It wasn't overnight, but it happened very quickly and I was struggling for a long time. I started running again as a way to try and make things better. In some ways it does.
My Mental Health issue batters me at the worst of times. I have spent much of the last few weeks trying to convince myself to train and not being able to, because I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't been eating properly and I haven't been going to therapy or taking medication. Some of these things have been a conscious thing - I haven't got along with a lot of the medications that I have tried - some of them have been unconscious - I don't really notice when I stop eating properly. I do what I can to try and stop myself from getting more ill, but it doesn't always work out.
I am trying my best to come back from the latest dip, but it's taking longer than usual. I'm hoping that my continued commitment to writing may help.
