Sometimes I Can't Decide What to Write About,

There are a few things I could have decided to write tonight, but I decided to write this, because writing about things which have made me happy make me happier, because it's something I always believe should be shared. That's not to say the debate was write something that made me happy or something that made me unhappy, but this was kind of my Tigger bounce, super happy moment of the week. 

A few years ago I decided to buy myself a really old typewriter, because it was the sort of thing that just made me happy, and whilst it still does, I tend not to write on my typewriters anymore because the majority of them hurt my wrists, and also there's a whole space issue that even in the 'new' house, I can't fix. In a similar way, I got really excited when my dad mentioned there was an old Singer sewing machine in a charity shop nearby and honestly, I just wanted to see it. I think they're really cool, partly because of how ornate they are, but also how simple, and they're such a powerful machine as well. I went to see it, and I just fell in love with it, so decided it needed to come home with me. I told myself it was fate, because I had just cleared a space that was the perfect size for the cabinet it came in, in the room that is, at least part time, my sewing room. I had to ask to collect it the next day because we couldn't have fit it in the car otherwise, but when I finally got it home - with a lot of assistance - I found a letter had been dislodged inside of it, and that made it feel even more like fate. 

So this letter, it was addressed to someone named Charlie and it was written in typical old lady hand writing that made me think of my Nana even though the name at the bottom was wrong and love was spelt wrong. It was strange because it was about the water, and I've just started paddle boarding and the lady said something - some of the letter read like coded nonsense - about telling the coastguard they would know who this Charlie was, because he was the little boy with the grin and the big gob. Meatloaf says two out of three isn't bad, and I have to agree...

Whether I can get the machine to run perfectly well is up for debate. Whether I just mend it to use the table side of it for my other sewing machines - because it's really well designed for being a sewing table - is more possible, but not preferable, but it is already something which has brought me immense joy, except for the moment where my mother asked whether I was planning on 'doing it up' in it's current colour, so just repairing the damage to the cabinet, or painting it with chalk paint, and I wondered how she could know me so little. I'm not against chalk paint on furniture, but I feel like some things are sacred and this is one of those things.

I'm currently on annual leave and keep planning to get on with some sewing projects, though I'm already a couple of days in and I have done literally none of them, so we'll see if it happens or  if sewing is just another of those hobbies I took up, got a little bit obsessed with and a little bit good at, and then got not even bored of, but just couldn't find the motivation or the time to keep up with. I'd love to say it doesn't happen that often, but that would be a total fib.

Today Didn't Suck, Too

In writing about days which were difficult, I had a quick scan back over things I have written in the last few months and I read over the blog I wrote when the paddle boarding session I was booked to join got cancelled. For the second time. Whilst I was epically frustrated there were a number of reasons that they had to be cancelled and whilst I was being a grumpy goose about them, I also completely understood that, but then somehow completely forgot to write about the day that the paddle boarding session I went to that DIDN'T GET CANCELLED! 

One of the biggest differences - okay, scratch that, it was just one of a long list of differences - was that instead of being a class which was teaching paddle board technique at the same time as doing some environmental work (litter picking), it was a social meet up of people who would fit into the middle of a Venn diagram of owns a paddle board and doesn't want to paddle board alone. It was a BYOB in the sense of Bring Your Own Board - though someone did also bring beer and I have to say, I was impressed he stayed on the board, because I couldn't even san alcohol - it was far more local to me and it was organised by a person who wanted to go out on her board rather than a charity organisation. And it happened. And it was great. 

I wasn't great, I fell at the first hurdle. And the second. And the third. I'm not sure which hurdle is which but I left home without a towel for the human, though I had brought my changing robe, which is kind of towelling inside, and also a towel for the board, so that once I got it out of the water I could dry it down again. I pumped it up, and I thought the pressure gauge on my pump was broken so just had to do the best I could with it and guess. Here's a tip, never do that. It wasn't pumped enough when I first tried to get onto it in the water, but one of the others helped me and got it to where it needed to be. I nearly fell on my a** because the ramp into the water - which is supposed to be the easier access point - was mossy at the bottom and I didn't expect it, though I managed to turn a stumble into a rather graceful slide and was able to laugh about it as soon as I was in the water, and then I got onto the board okay in the end. 

I was really proud of myself for trying to stand up. And falling in. Then getting back up. And then falling back in. And then listening to what some of the more experienced (it's not hard to be more experienced than me at this) people and having another go, standing for long enough for someone to have taken a photo from across the lake, and then... you guessed it... Falling. In. Again. 

Despite feeling like a tit for not getting stood up and for not being able to paddle in a straight line and for a few other things, I was blissfully happy, because for one thing it meant I hadn't spent a lot of money on equipment for something I hated, but also because I am a total water baby and despite the fact that there were points I was scared - because I am a water baby with a fear of deep water - I got on with it, and I enjoyed it and I spent time chilling out, and making friends and doing something different and it was completely needed. It made me feel like myself, far more than I have been in a good few months.

I've been again since and still haven't got the knack of pumping the board up properly and I still can't stand  up overly well, but falling in isn't scaring me anything like as much, I'm getting good at knowing what I need with me, and also I've been to a couple of places now and I always think seeing different places to do the same thing is good. I'm thinking I need an electric pump and to go back to the shallower lake to give myself the best chance of figuring out the standing up part of it, and then I think I will be flying. Well, paddling. 

Anyway, I guess the point of all of this is, I'm not miserable all the time and although some things have gone wrong recently - A LOT of things have gone wrong recently - it's not everything. There have been some really good moments, too. And I also bought Chai a lifejacket so that she can come on the board at some point, and that is something I cannot wait for.