Testing Limits,

I woke up this morning after fifteen hours of sleep, which has become very unusual for me. 

I wasn't asleep for fifteen-ish hours because of depression or anything like that, which is obviously very nice, but because I have been really pushing myself to do things recently and something I really wanted to do was attend a lecture series at Birkbeck this week. Part of the reason that I wanted to do this was because I wanted to remind myself that I didn't enjoy university that much really, so I don't want to go back. It didn't work...

I'm not being naïve, I know that events like Law on Trial are there to sell Birkbeck as a school and to encourage people to study. They're a fantastic marketing campaign to prospective students, and I am now looking at courses more seriously than I was previously, though I'm thinking about the 2017 intake, because with the best will in the world, I know myself pretty well these days and I know that I will not be ready to do this in September of this year. I would rather prepare myself and be ready to do this than make an absolutely unholy mess of the whole bloody thing.

It's not just the possibility of going back to university though which has had me testing my limits. I've been trying to be a lot more socialable (because I sometimes suck at talking to people I do not know) and trying to spend more time doing constructive things than in my flat. 

This week I spent most of my evenings at Birkbeck. The lecturers were there to discuss the issues surrounding the upcoming referendum and I walked in there thinking I knew how I was voting and why. Right now, I feel like I have splinters in my bottom, because I am sat on the fence, leaning either way without really being sure how to swing. I don't get like this. I am very good at making deicisions about what I believe in and what I want to vote for, but right now, I am flumoxed. 

In all of this, as you can imagine, I have been getting less sleep than I am used to, and it has pushed my body to its edges. I have been very busy in the last few weeks generally anyway, so believe me, I needed my fiftteen hour catch up sleep. I was pretty exhausted by the end of it, but I did manage to finish writing the first draft of the first volume of The Single Girls' Collective, and for once I cannot wait to get to editing it, though that was on the backburner this week for obvious reasons. 

Before this post runs to a mile long, I'm going to wrap it up by saying watch this space. Catch you later.