It's Been a Long...

  It's been a long... 

I feel like here, in twenty twenty, we can fill in the rest of that sentence with any measure of time and it would be pretty accurate. It was a long weekend with the All Night Log On replacing the All Night Lock In on the London calendar of events for NaNoWriMo. Being so close to your bed that no one could actually stop you from just going and getting into it and checking out for the night brings a new measure of difficulty to an event which is already a marathon sprint. It's almost like someone is driving a golf buggy in front of you when you're running a marathon, but instead of just a normal golf buggy, it's one with super plush seats and it's warm enough but cool enough and there are snacks and drinks and cushions and it's lovely, but there is that nagging thing of you would be letting yourself down and no one wants to do that. Unlike on a normal day, well, a normal ANLI, we lost of fifty per cent of the participants overnight as people finished their fifty thousand words, realised that they were keeping partners, parents or pets away or they just started getting headaches and other issues and had to retire for the good of their health, and believe me, the thought of following them was so tempting, especially when I went into the fourth hour of a caffeine headache and my wifi was dropping out despite the laptop being sat directly next to the router, and there being seemingly no issue with the router or the other laptop I was actually writing on - just the one that was hosting the call - though it only booted everyone out on one occasion so that's pretty good going. 

This year NaNoWriMo felt like Such. A. Long. Month. because rather than being able to meet people in person and spend time with them, give them a big squeezey hug as you're leaving each other for the evening and scream I LOVE YOU, DON'T DIE! down London's streets to them followed by a fit of the giggles, we had to resort to online writing events that took us away from our favourite destinations of coffee shops in town and all of the museums, from having a brew and a natter and seeing everyone's lovely faces, to dealing with strange microphone and web cam set ups that don't necessarily inspire a great deal of comfort. Whilst the community survived online, and there are definitely advantages to being able to, or being forced to, host in this way, I can't wait for the day I am able to wrap my arms around my writers again and tell them how much I missed them, because I did. And I missed having loose leaf tea with them in Yum Chaa. I'm praying that Yum Chaa survive this year. 

It's been a long year because there has been a constant bombardment of bad news (EXCEPT THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!) with the pandemic adding further pressures onto businesses that were struggling and causing many to buckle under the weight of new pressures. Once more we are seeing an economic recession which is costing jobs and livelihoods and robbing people of the stability that has, in many cases, been exceedingly hard won. I can't help but watch the news and wonder what will become of the local high street and the city shopping district. Are we moving towards a day where we order everything online, because we can, and then what? How soon does it become that we stop going outside because we don't have to and, those of us who can afford to, just get everything delivered to our doors? It is a horrible thought. 

I've been considered lucky, because being a civil servant gave me the flexibility to work from home from the moment things looked a bit too ropey, and that's exactly what I have done. I've been really lucky because there's three of us and a dog in a house with a spare bedroom. My parents and my brother were all furloughed, so for a long time, there was only me having to work, which was a frustrating and exhausting experience of its own, but also hearing people talk about how difficult furlough was for them, not because of financial issues, has got to the point where it pisses me right off. People are saying they were bored, and I know it can very much be a the grass is always greener situation and if I had been furloughed I might have been bored within a week and wanting to get online to do some work, but I also spent the whole of lock down one doing things like knitting baby blankets (I am nearly finishing my third) and making face masks for friends and family and also selling a few to help me raise some extra cash for Macmillan. I ran for London Landmarks Half Marathon, though on the day I didn't do thirteen miles because of injury. There was so much more I wanted to do as well, but whilst working a full time job and spending time with family, it was a bit of a juggling act. 

I'm really hoping that this start of the twenties is not setting the tone for the whole decade, because that would be a more than difficult pill to swallow. It's long and arduous and in some places people are working together and doing amazing things and in others they are throwing parties and not caring who it hurts, or who it could kill. There are organisations who are penalising their workers for the crime or infraction of not living with the person that they're in a relationship with and that is one of the hardest things imaginable. I once complained to an ex that I was not a f***ing tamagotchi and that's what we have all turned into this year. If lock down rules mean you can't see your significant other, it becomes texts and calls of I love you, I miss you, I want to see you, and strain like that can break relationships, though so can being thrown together too soon and for extended periods of time when we were only allowed out of our homes for an hour. Friends of mine have been quite lucky that they have been ready to move in together and the lock down just became their excuse, but for some people that wasn't feasible, or it might not have been practical. 

It's really hard to imagine that many doctors and nurses or other hospital staff moved out of their homes to try and keep their families safe. It is hard to imagine a lot of the things that people have been through this year, but with the vaccine now on the horizon, it looks as though there might be a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's the light you see as you pass out from your medical stabbing because, like me, you are petrified of needles. That being said, I got myself used to needles enough to be able to give blood so hopefully I will be alright.