Saturday,

 I was going to write this as two different blogs, but the reasons for one of them are the reasons it's going to be one instead.

Today has been a great day because not only has the rugby been back on (it actually started yesterday with the joys of Ireland giving France a good walloping) but also England were playing WITHOUT FARRELL and they won, even though they made a hash of it (Italy got the losing bonus point because the England defence is utterly shocking at the moment) and then Wales got their heads out of their asses in the second half of their match to pull the game back to almost level and denied Scotland a bonus point by a last minute hold up. Whilst the ball wasn't grounded because it went down onto an ankle as opposed to because it was actively held up, the defence through the second half of the game had been incredible and in those last minutes of the game they gave it everything. And it was incredible. To me, even though I know Wales lost and they only got a losing bonus point, this felt like a massive win. I took much more joy from the Wales game than the England game, probably because I love an underdog story, and it was good to see the litany of newer players coming up, where England are still relying a bit too much on the older generation, and that does not bode well for the next couple of years. So yes, rugby, loved it, and not just because one of the players was working so hard to get a try that he didn't seem to realise he had his ass out to the wind for a bloody long while. Or because I got a bit overexcited when I saw one of the players was wearing Oddballs on the pitch.

The reason this is all one blog is because I am so tired right now. 

I started my ADHD medication a few days ago and whilst it is helping to give me a bit of clarity and honestly, this is the best I have felt in a long time and is definitely the best I have ever felt on any form of medication, one of the less fun side effects is tiredness. I was looking forward to being tired, because it meant that I would be able to sleep, and I have been able to sleep and that is great, but because I've not got to the point (because it's only been a few days) where I am getting up earlier, because of being able to sleep earlier and sleep better, I'm tired when I want to do things like write, or watch TV, and it slightly feels like the sort of tiredness that stops me from doing things. I know that consistency with my medication is one of the things which helps it to work better for me and I know that my head is in a better place with the medication than without it, I don't feel like I can live my normal weekend, because I can't drink if I'm not at home (or rather I won't drink if I'm not at home, because it feels too risky), I need to try and keep a similar schedule to my weekday so that I keep working towards functioning better at work, and because I like going out and getting lost in something and spending hours out, and I am getting too tired to be able to do that, because I need to focus on my ability to get home. 

But overall, the side effects I was warned of with the medication haven't been anything like as bad as they could have been, I'm not resistant to the medication that I need, and actually the fact that it's working is proving I wasn't misdiagnosed with ADHD, which was something I was very worried about. Whilst I know that it's early days and I'm nowhere near a hundred percent, this feels like a really positive thing.