God, I Want to Throw a Strop Right Now,

As most of you know, I don't really play the whole 'New Year, New Me' game, but something I did promise myself was that when I moved into the new flat certain things were going to be different. 

Now, some things are different. I've managed to cut my morning commute dramatically. What used to take an hour and a half - depending on trains, so sometimes more than that - now takes me twenty minutes. I have more space and the kitchen is my own, so it is always how I left it (not always a great thing, but such is the joy of living alone) so I cook more. I also gave having a pet a whirl, although that didn't go so well since I'm not here all the time so Dave is going to be rehomed. 

The problem is, those were not the things I promised myself would be different. 

I made a promise to myself that I would make a really big effort to keeping the place tidy; I would be lying if I said I had stuck to that. I haven't put enough effort into that. It looks a damn site better than when I first moved in since there was stuff everywhere and not much furniture for a long time, but it's still not quite there. Actually, probably not by a long stretch thinking about how I would like it to be, though I know that that is on me. 

I promised myself that this would be the weekend where I got a lot more sorted, and the truth is that that didn't really happen either, but...

Whereas most people get to February and their NY resolutions go straight out of the window as though they never really existed, I'm at the stage where I am reminding myself that Rome was not built in a day, so I shouldn't expect to cajole all of my chaos into order in the same space of time. If I'm making progress slowly, well that is still progress.

The same goes for the novel. Despite my somewhat foolish addiction to NaNoWriMo, I don't need to try and write everything I ever write at the same pace. I'd burn out within a couple of weeks for one thing, and for another, I would have even less of a social life.

I am accepting my weaknesses and limitations. I am setting it as a long-term goal to have the flat exactly as I want it. I am fine with the fact that this thing I am working on is going to take closer to a year than a month to write. Whilst I will not let go of and forget the novel I was writing for NaNo, I have accepted that now is not the time to re-write it and there is no more time at all to dwell on it. And so, onwards.

Though even when trying to accept all of that, I want to throw my toys out of the pram because one of my biggest weaknesses is impatience. 

Catch you later.