Get Your Nerd On,

Everybody has their nerd thing. I hate calling it that since the advent of this ridiculous fashion of wearing something, whether it be t-shirt, hoodie or baseball cap, emblazoned with the word, but that is probably more to do with it now being a trend for the types of kids who used to use it as a word to victimise kids like me. I have no time for the trend in all honesty. 

That being said, everybody has their little thing. 

Now, yes, it is true I am a bit of a crazy when it comes to my writing because, heck, I love it, but it is not my nerd thing. My nerd thing, or my current one at least, is Sherlock Holmes. 

One of my friends used to smoke tobacco that he got from the Baker Street museum in a pipe and I loved it. I have loved both Robert Downie Junior's portrayal of my idol in the recent films and also the loving depiction of Sherlock at the end of his days in the more recent film. Incidentally if you haven't yet seen it, watch that one because it is immaculate in so many ways. The acting, just, oh, I can't even get into this right now - I need to sleep at some point tonight...

Well, anyway, it may seem as though I have left out an oh so familiar recent depiction, however I would like to assure you that I most definitely have not and I am just getting to it. 

Recently, I finished reading A Study in Scarlet for the first time. Now, as a Sherlock Holmes fan this seems like a very strange thing, but the problem was that also being a bit of a book nerd I wanted to find the right volumes before I bought them, committed to them and read them, but then I found the entire collection in one paperback volume for about £4 in a charity shop in Balham. I decided that would do, at least for now. 

Having read A Study in Scarlet, and also keeping in mind that New Year's Day will grace us with a new episode (I'm already on the edge of my seat!) I started watching the BBC series with Benedict Cumberbatch again and, well, I fell in love again as I saw that the BBC had done a, oh, here's that word again, immaculate job of transporting that amazing first story aboard the TARDIS and bringing it forward in time to the modern era. It gives it so much life and I adored it. 

It got better when there was the reference to, and I'm not so sure that this was intentional, but I both think and hope so, Alan Turing and the story behind The Imitation Game AKA The  Coventry conundrum. 

If I could take two weeks off of work and just power through the rest of the books, believe me, I would. 

Catch you later....

Priorities,

Christmas and family make you think about your priorities a lot, and with the new year looming people begin to think about New Year's Resolutions. 

I might have mentioned previously that I am taking part in Veganuary. I want to do it to prove to myself that I can, and to explore the different culinary options available. Part of the idea is going to be seeing if I can actually drop the amount of meat products I have in my diet as a long term plan, though the success of that is to be measured later. 

My other "resolution" is to aim, as thoroughly as humanly possible, at getting my own place. 

I don't do overly well living with other humans because I like things to be a certain way. I like to know that when I am planning, on the train home, to cook a meal in a certain way that the knives for cutting things and the board I like are there and ready to be used. I also like to know that no one has eaten any of my ingredients, though that has happened before now. 

As much as I remember the solitude which can be created, because I felt that plenty of times in my little studio flat, it can also be wonderful to be able to come home after a really shitty day and be able to shut the door on everything else. You can shut the door and leave it outside along with anyone that you don't want to invite to cross your threshold. There is a stability and a sense of home which I don't really get from living in a shared house. Granted, I'm going to have to deal with that in case of a significant other, or kids or whatever, but still, it would be nice to have some time and space to myself and it is something I can't wait to create. 

The idea of a home is something really important to me and a lot of the things which are left at my mother's house are actually things I want for my future flat. I would probably have chosen the wall colours by now if I didn't know that it was going to be at least a few years before I was actually able to put paint on my own walls. 

Ah well, onwards and upwards...

Imagine Dragons...Oh Baby, I Do,

With NaNo having been over for more than a week I have finally had time to stand and catch my breath for a minute, though not too long as I'm currently back in Manchester marvelling at my mother's little fur baby and his insistence at "doing a Pudsey" and walking around on his hind legs when he can balance. It's very sweet when he is grabbing your hand between two fluffy paws and babbling at you like a toddler, though he does sound remarkably avian when he does it, which is mildly disconcerting to say the least. I kind of wonder if he is having a little identity crisis and wondering just what kind of animal he is. 

Somehow, it is really strange to try and imagine my mum with a dog, probably because I was pleading for one for so long and it was never practical, so we didn't get one, but then things changed and he's here. Somehow, it feels strange not to be able to imagine my mother with a dog, because although I don't write about dragons as pets and other such wonders as large fire breathing reptiles, I do write about pets like rabbits and goats, and the wonders that the experience of having a pet can bring. I love writing about little animals and their big personalities, so it does seem somewhat unnerving that my mother having a dog was somewhat on the limits of my imaginings, but here he is. He's sat in the small walkway of space between the dinning chair I am writing this from and where I have moved his dog bed to so that he could have a sleep if he wanted to since we did go on a pretty big walk just now and even had a little bit of a run. 

The poor sweet isn't used to me though - I merely arrived last night, caused a frantic amount of excitement, wouldn't let him sit on my knee on the chair by the window and kept hold of him whilst his mother put eye drops in. And I did it again today. I, therefore, am 'orrible. 

However I am also the person who produced a cloth newspaper which rustles and squeaks and has been thrown around the living room repeatedly for him to run after and chase (though bringing it back was slightly beyond capacity at first) and produced an antler chew to be destroyed at will. I'm choosing to believe that the little pupsicle is simply having a philosophical debate in his small fluffy head at the moment as to whether I am the devil or a magical blue Santa Clause. Yes - I do believe my dog understands both of those concepts... Okay, maybe not entirely, but he'll get there.

I hope he's leaning towards Santa, but really he hasn't seen anything yet, because Christmas is not yet truly here and when it is...Oh I am sure there will be excitement.

Christmas has come slightly early for me though, with the addition to the tool shed of a small netbook which I will be able to carry around and write on! This is not the make do and mend of having an iPad keyboard and the iPad which is five years old and was never really intended to live that long I suspect. It is not the slumming it of using Alphie, my lovely AlphaSmart, which is a wonderful piece of kit, but slightly irritating by the fact that it does not inform me of the word count which I have produced without plugging it into an actual computer - nor can I edit files on it. It's also not spending £400 on a laptop just to be able to have the luxury of a computer out of doors. It's small and light enough to carry, fast enough to run, but not all bells and whistles which is good because I'm very good at getting - ooooh, what did the dog do now!! - distracted.

Well, I'm going to go try and teach the dog to play fetch, so I'll catch you later. 

It's Been Six Weeks,

It has  been six weeks since I actually wrote here, because I have felt as though the last few weeks have been crazy. 

At the very end of October I started a brand new job and on midnight of the first day, NaNoWriMo started. 

I had training in the day, write-ins in the evening and then getting the main bulk of my word count done at night. It's tough, especially when you are also trying not to eat every level of junk food and take aways that are presented to you, and the truth is that I was pretty certain I was going to fail at several points. I didn't. 

This has genuinely been the most rewarding NaNo I have been a part of. It was the seventh attempt that I made and sixth win, which is special in itself. I am very proud of the peice of work that came out of it, and that's pretty rare, because NaNo is a high pressure environment and it does mean that it can be done in a rush. Yeah, I rushed.

I have this stupid habit of committing myself to editing deadlines and when I break them, I then start feeling crappy and feeling crappy is not productive. I've had the great thing in the last few months that I've managed to stay on the good side of my moods and be productive. I've managed to write things I am happy with and as much as it has not been easy, I am doing better now than I was six months ago and a year ago and that is something for which I am supremely glad. 

I'm going to try to get back into writing blogs regularly. I'm  trying to be more healthy in general. I'm trying to be more productive in my writing and I'm trying to stay on top of the problems I know I have so I can do all of those things. Oh, and I'm going to attempt vegan January as well, which is terrifying, but it's good. 

Anyway, I'll catch you later.

Getting the Feels,

I am the sort of person that emotionally invests in things (and people, just to clarify) far too much. It means that this weekend was exceptionally emotional for me, and I wasn't sure how to deal with that. 

I think part of the problem is that I haven't been writing much recently and writing is one of the ways that I deal with my emotions. I think things through better when I am trying to writing and it can make me see when I am being ridiculous. (It happens and I know that). 

Another part of the problem is that I haven't really given myself the time to sit still recently. I've been working a lot, learning to drive and also going to write ins each week. With all the time taken up with that plus life admin and laundry etc. It gets worse. I will have no time to really chill out before I actually start my new job. I think the next time I will actually have time will either be after my driving test is over and done with, or when I go back to Manchester over Christmas, which is slightly worrying though I am pretty glad that is only just over two months away. 

The time I get on a Sunday to write or edit is extremely valuable, partly because it forces me to be sociable and also because it is pretty well protected from other things I do; I don't miss it unless there is a heck of a good reason to. I wasn't there today because I am ill and don't want to make anyone else ill. Also, there is nothing better for illness than a PJ day, so that is what I have done (though not properly as I have been trying to sort out banking things, which has been all of the fun!) 

The idea is to be able to get everything I need to do to get out of the way over the next two weeks so that by the time I start the new job and NaNoWriMo, everything is as under control as it can be. At least if that is the case, then I have a fair shot at getting through NaNo alive.

Best get back to it. Catch you later. 

Is It a Monster?,

There is this amazing song that was popular when I was at school by a band called The Automatic. Much of it is asking the identity of something traversing an incline in the topography, but it is wonderful. There were two ways I was thinking of going with this - I'll try and do both...

First thing

When we are approaching NaNo and whilst it is going on we can often feel like what is that? Is it a monster?

It can feel like it at times.

What you need to remember is that no one from NaNo HQ nor myself or anyone else is running around after you with a red hot poker trying to force you, we will not brand you with the word loser if you fail, we will not pick you up and shake you to see if the words fall out... We won't even shave your eye brows off if you fall asleep at a write in (because that is frowned upon). Nothing bad will happy if it is too much to ask at this moment.

NaNo is my motivation because I am competitive and it works for me. It working for me allows me to think of it as the chrysalis which forms around a caterpillar. The chrysalis allows the caterpillar to become something amazing, something beautiful. It allows the caterpillar to hold it together or to be held together.

To over exhaust this metaphor, the MLs provide the leaf or the branch on which this pod of transformation hangs, and the tree is the wider NaNo community. You need to be the change in yourself, but we're here to support you. This is the support network which allows use to become butterflies.

If slaying the NaNo beast works better as your metaphor, grab your light saber, throwing stars and flame throwers. Kill it with fire and a pair of phoenixes (you and your work) will rise from the ashes in a blaze of glory with Jovi blasting out in the background.

Second thing

Let's imagine that two WriMos are writing the same novel. Work with me here, it's going somewhere. The boy is sat with his diary on one side of his desk, laptop in the middle and something looking suspiciously like a Pokédex on the other side. The girl is sat with her laptop in the middle, wearing her underwear Superman style (red underwear over blue jeans). These visual representations give you an idea of which team each person is playing for.

Team Planner, what's that coming over the hill, is it a Monster? IS IT A MONSTER?? 

Team Player makes a grab for his Pokédex. "It is a monster, but fear not, my madeuposaurousatron with strength of whatever Top Trumps metaphor yada yada yada, well planned battle scene, win win injury save the day yada yada" Boom!

Team Pantser, what's that coming over the hill, is it a Monster? IS IT A MONSTER?? 

Team Pantser looks around herself and her eyes happen upon a plastic dinosaur that someone's kid sister decided to add makeup to. It has also had its body brutally melded to something that was possibly a Transformer made by that douche pants from Toy Story. Boosh: the madeuposauratron is born. Pantser thinks her way through a battle scene that is unfolding gradually in her imagination as her wrists cramp from trying to scribble down each drop of blood soaking into the ground beneath the battle field as her main character traverses this battle scene (and she knows he/she/it/they have to make it because otherwise it is Game Over for this novel. They slay and look as though they are winning, lose something like a finger or an eye, but win overall despite being viciously maimed...

The answer to the question of is it a monster is fundamentally the same, is, well, yeah, it is. The action the main character takes, again, fairly similar, but the difference is the person at the keyboard. Can you pants it? Can you plan it? What works for you? It's not monstrous, but that is a monster. 

Run, and I'll catch you later.

Final Countdown,

I know it is not quite the final countdown for NaNoWriMo just yet, but I am acutely aware of that countdown because I am going to be starting a new job soon. Actually, on the 31st October. What was I thinking?!

Yes, so I will be leaving a job I have loved for the last three months ready to start something new and whilst I am really excited about it, I am also bloody terrified, because I don't necessarily deal well with change and it's a whole lot of change all at once. I am changing jobs, then at midnight it's my first NaNoWriMo as an ML. I have both of those things to deal with and I need to be writing a new novel, too. Understandably I'm a little bit nervous. 

That is not to say in any way that I don't think I can do it - I know I can. I do well when I push myself. Pushing myself gets me to do more than I thought possible. I was hoping to make another attempt at a 15k day this year, but I think I am going to have to let that go. Particularly as I'm learning to drive also, and my instructor is anticipating I will be ready for a test in November. Once I am ready, I'm going to book in and just do it. I am sure I will probably fail once, but if I could get it out of the way before Christmas, that would be marvelous. 

I expect that this year will be intense. I've had a few ideas of things I might want to write, and I've also, as usual, got a few things that I'm doing at the moment that I am not going to want to put down, but the problem with that is that I can't rush them. I have a feeling that they need time to happen organically and I would rather do that than force them and then ruin them. 

See, this is an advantage of Team Planner. You can have done a lot of the thinking through everything so you know what you are writing and then it is a simple (no, not simple, but simpler) case of writing it down and progressing through your meticulous plans. The disadvantage of that for me is that if I plan too far ahead with writing, I get really, really bored. I like to essentially sit in the backseat and let my imagination take over and I can't really do that if I plan. 

I'm going to have to stop writing this about now because my head has suddenly decided it wants to ache and this is possibly going to turn into a migraine. I'm sat in a Pret in Central London with my sun glasses on just trying to make sure it doesn't get any more agitated. 

Catch you later.