-.- (It's Our Work In Progress)

Right now I'm not sure if I want to eat my feelings or write them, but after two Christmas dinners in one weekend, I don't really think my body could deal with any more food. Besides, this is important. 

Exactly three months and eleven days ago, I was dropped off home from a date, was walked to my door and given a hug, before the male protagonist of this story went back to his car and drove 12 miles back home. The next day I was politely informed by the florist who handed me a wonderful bunch of flowers - more beautiful than I had ever seen in real life - that my cheeks had gone a wonderful shade of red. The flowers may have died, but I still have the card from that bunch and the two which followed pinned to my board in my room. 

I don't think I really realised how I was going to feel about him until the day he gave me something which made me realise that men with feelings and kindness and love do actually exist, because the story just played on the bass strings of my heart. "I found this," he told me, "On the day you emailed me back, and I want you to have it. It's a good luck charm."  It wouldn't matter really what it was, but it was something important to him, too. It's a Roman coin, and it's still sat in my room, and every time I see it, I smile. I still remember the look of shock on his face too, when I told him that I didn't care what it had been valued as, it had value to me because he chose to give it to me, and because of the reason why. 

I wake up to photographs of us every morning; they're right next to my alarm clock, and they're the last thing I see before my light goes out at night, and sometimes, when the light pollution is at it's worst outside, I can see them for all the time I'm awake between going to bed and getting out again. 

When I got tired of London, and just wanted out of here for a few hours, we went away to the countryside, where I could breathe physically and mentally, and he offered to take me out to Stone Henge, because I'd never seen it, and I really wanted to. He didn't even mind when I put the Travelling Panda on the dashboard (so she could get there first). 

He introduced me to his family, and I could see where the man he is now had come from, and I'm sure that his brief meeting with mine showed him where some of my quirks and oddments came from.

It's in the everyday things, too. I wake up every morning to a text from him, even if it's just "Morning, how did you sleep?" This feels like starting my day right, and it would feel weird attempting to sleep without first texting and saying "Goodnight" and "Sweet Dreams", but that's us. 

And here's the thing,... he's stuck by me through my illness the last few months, he's known when to deal with my tantrums and when to just let them play out, and he's known all along that I love him for each and every moment. 

We've all picked up our little nicks and scratches somehow. We've all got some insecurities and some problems, but when you find the right person, the one person you want to stick with, those things don't matter at all, and you love them more because it's a part of them. I admit to having a lot of those, and I was probably pretty odd to start with, but he's never seemed to mind, and his quirks actually seem to fit next to mine.

When you find someone that fits next to you, what's the point in looking for something else? What on Earth could measure up to something which comes in and fills your heart and your life? Honestly, there is nothing.

I've had more good moments than bad moments with him, and I've loved him throughout. This is our relationship; this is all of it. 

I know as a writer, I'm kind of responsible for pretty words and clever phrases. I am a chief of made belief, and my role in that is to make people believe what they want to believe with socially acceptable lies, but the odd thing is, when I try and apply that "skill" to my feelings, I come up blank very often on what to say, but as I said at the start, this is important. It needed to be said.