First of all, I should say that I'm not now and I'm not sure I have ever been an absolutist. It would be a bit ridiculous for me to be on this issue given the number of TVs we have in the house, for one thing, and the fact that my partner and I do spend time on our phones. I think we both know we spend too much time on them, and I am worried about the whole thing of "phubbing" particularly in relation to an article I read about the number of parents who are unintentionally "phubbing" their own children, by letting their phone get in the way of interaction with their own children. In the space of time since I started writing this, I've been distracted twice, once because of rugby news and once because my attention span lapsed and I forgot what I was doing. Whilst I enjoy writing and I love digital tools like 4TheWords, I wouldn't want them to get in the way of my relationship with my partner or my son, but that doesn't mean I'm going to switch back to a dumb phone, turn off all of my social media or follow Red Hot Chilli Peppers advice of throwing away my television[s] because I don't think the devices are inherently the problem.
Both my partner and I follow certain sports and one of the things about having TVs around the house is the ability to have a game or a race on and then still be able to do other things at the same time. Now, this was kind of alien to me at first, because if I'm watching rugby, I'm watching rugby and I'm very much dialled into that, but my partner pointed out there are sometimes boring games or particularly boring F1 races where you want to keep an eye on it in case something happens without feeling like you're wasting your weekend on a game or race where nothing happens but it's important as part of a tournament or championship etc. Being able to have the TVs networked (or whatever it is) and then ago in and out of the kitchen cooking, or as it will be for the Six Nations this year, take the baby to be changed and still keep an eye on what's going on, is valuable even if somewhat bougie and maybe a bit over the top, but I appreciate it all the same. Neither of us just follow sports on the TV though and he is a season ticket holder at a football club and I do love to go to rugby matches - especially the women's rugby this year - so it's not solely a 'screen based' activity and it's not the sort of thing we put on and switch off from as many things are for some.
The other thing is there are some great activities like having family film nights that are a joyous way to share films from when parents were younger - I will definitely be putting all the old Disney films on for my little boy as well as things like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Man Up when he's a bit older - with their children and it's lovely, but there's a big difference between that and children being effectively raised by iPad or TV. Now I know, this is possibly me sounding like a bit of a hypocrite again because I've complained about the divisions between parents and yet here I am apparently judging people for parking their kids in front of devices, and honestly, you wouldn't be wrong, but one of the reasons I'm so vehemently against it is the sheer number of children that I hear having tantrums in restaurants because a parent won't hand over their mobile or forgot to charge the iPad, or, and I think this is worse, having to listen to obnoxiously loud TV programs or games because the parent has handed over a device and let the kid play it at full volume and without headphones.
There are plenty of places where screen time has a place, even if it is just to keep a kiddo quiet. I particularly think on things like planes they have a place, but one of the big reasons for that is because there is very little space whether for playing with toys or for running around and doing other things, so having some screen time and settling in to watch a TV series or movie is definitely a good way to occupy a child and make sure that they have a better experience of flying whilst also not damaging the experience of other people around them, as can happen sometimes. But because they are part of this 'screen free' movement, where some are very evangelical about how screen time rots child's brains and they shouldn't have any at all, some parents then feel guilty about having screen time for things like video calling family that live too long of a distance away to be able to see each other regularly, and that just doesn't seem fair, because it's as though the choice is to stop all screen time, or never start it, but then miss out on relationships with members of their family. I would have hoped that it would be obvious that having those relationships, or being able to sustain relationships with family you may only see once or twice a year, is far more important than an aggressive commitment to keep screens out of children's lives, partly because the best thing parents can do in a lot of situations is teach children moderation and the ability to limit themselves and utilise tools like phones and TVs for good purposes without relying on them for everything. Granted, when adults use being on their phone as a form of social lubricant, or a way to avoid talking to people when they're out of the house, it's difficult to imagine children learning to use them in any sort of different way.
