18 Mar 2016

Definition of a Douchebag,

As a writer, I really like words. Words and definitions. They don't even have to be English all the time - in fact, several of my favourite words are German. (I know, essential information that you couldn't live your life without, right?) There's a problem with language and words, though, and if you studied philosophy, you'd already know it well, but if you haven't, I'll give you the short version. 

Wittgenstein. Really smart guy, but sucked at formal education and ended up living in something reminiscent of a shed (though maybe we can actually trace the tiny house movement back to this very spot!) He basically said that language is like a game, and if you're not in the game, you can't understand it. Like when I talk about NaNoWriMo. Some people will never really know what that is because they are outside of it. (Must point out, very, very short version!)

Now, people have tried to argue against his theory, but I almost accept it as absolute fact, mainly because we see it in operation every day. Have you ever asked a man to pass you a turquoise sweater? Men are just not in the same colour game as women are, I swear it. (I am getting to the point here, I promise.)

If you're writing something, as I do, naturally you want it to appeal and be relatable to as many people as possible (more often than not anyway, and not just because of profits. Although, yay, profitability!) Do you see the problem?

Sometimes, writers don't necessarily understand their limitations. Until I read an Amazon review I didn't think I used that much British slang, but then again we are a product of our environment. And therefore, our novels will be, too. Knowing I do it myself, I should probably chill a little bit when I see it in others, but when I stare confused at a book because of a simple phrase until remembering it from a TV program I watched quite a while ago, there is a problem. 

Sending someone to Coventry. I can guarantee if I called a large number of my friends, and told them someone was sending me to Coventry, they'd think I was getting on a train or a bus or something and schlepping off to the geographical location of Coventry, rather than me using slang for someone giving me a bad case of the Arctic shoulder. In the context of the character, it also didn't work. If it were a case that the author had written in that someone in the family was in the military, or previously had been, it would have made sense, but that wasn't it. Her family were described as the kind who celebrate going to jail (or gaol as she spelt it - fine Irish roots naturally). 

Now I'm not saying it's a bad book - it's not. It's pretty good though through parts of it I was either really uncomfortable with or felt were a little past believable, but it's about a divorce, so I guess it's meant to feel a little uncomfortable... I don't know. 

The book I'm talking about is called Who Gets Fluffy? By Judith Summers, if you were interested, and I'm only using it as an example because I read it during the few days I was off work (was very tempted to call it the weekend then, before realising it's Friday) There are plenty of other novels and authors guilty of the same, and as I stated, I'm no exception. The interesting bit though is, can we ever actually escape it? Can we find a way out of the game?

And now, to address my title. We've all had a situation in life where we've called someone a douchebag, or heard someone be called a douchebag, and other's have disagreed that this person is or is not a douchebag. While this is almightily annoying, can you imagine trying to build a character, and wanting to call them a douchebag, or other uncreative profanities, and knowing that regarding description, he's a douchebag is about as useful as a steak knife to a vegetarian? 

We all write douchebag characters. We often kill them or make sure that a multitude of miseries befall them and think of it as literary karma, just like everyone used to do on The Sims before you were lumbering with their whiny and irritating ghosts. The problem is that like the vegetarian and the steak knife, we can call it what it is, but there isn't much we can do with that. 

What I'm trying to say is descriptions are all well and good, but they have to mean something and they have to do something. We give our characters traits and features that we find beautiful or disgusting in line with how we feel about the character we are building, but it's important to make it work. One person's Satan is another person's misunderstood angel.

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