Go The **** to Sleep

Every time I hear the above phrase, it's in Samuel L Jackson's voice. It's a thing, but I kind of love it. 

A couple of days ago I said about priorities; honestly, sleep is a priority to me, but sometimes it seems that that doesn't communicate into every one of the corners of my mind. Yesterday was a day where I just felt tired All. Damn. Day. I think that was, at least in part, because I didn't get to sleep until four in the morning, but that's just life with anxiety as well. I get a running commentary of all of the things I need to get done in my life, so occasionally have to go tearing out of bed and across the landing to scribble something across my notebook to remember to do the following day. 

There are some amazing techniques out there and apps which help guide you through them as well as tools like eye masks with bubbles for your eyes so that it doesn't crush your lashes against your face and weighted blankets which promote relaxation and can stop physical symptoms like restless leg and also can help panic subside which is really good for trying to stop all of the nightmares. Most of the time that's enough to help, but not completely alleviate my sleep issues, and what is worse is that sometimes it does less than nothing to combat the issues that I have. 

When you haven't slept, your brain doesn't function the same. Occasionally, I write when I'm too tired to have any business writing, but if I then read back over what I wrote, I can see the parts where my brain went to sleep so many times because I miss out words or just get the word completely wrong. It's normally close or connected, but it's not the right word. 

So why am I telling you this, dear readers? Well, there's a really simple reason, actually. Some of us can crack through twenty thousand words in a day and it's not so painful. Some of us would have to stay up for twenty-four hours to do that. Some of us aim at twenty-four hours of writing to see if we can finish the whole of a NaNoWriMo challenge in a day or two, but there are some who are not built for that kind of sleep deprivation and sometimes, I am one of them. At the moment, I am definitely one of them. 

I'm back to being able to sleep for about ten hours and still be tired. I have people telling me that I should just set an alarm and sleep for eight, but trust me, I can't get up, and even if I did, no amount of coffee would stop me falling asleep at my desk. It's not worth it unless there is something really important for me to do early in the morning and even then it takes medication for the sleep and a high dose of caffeine for waking up and I will still cling to my bed until the last minute. So even if you don't want to, you need to remember to sleep as long as makes sense for you. You have to try to function the way that you function and not the way that the insomniacs do, or those people who can be all alive and hyper on three hours of sleep. Think of it in terms of your spoons (an excellent metaphor for how much energy we exert doing daily things) and remember the number of spoons you have and the number of spoons they have are different, so you'll approach this challenge differently, and that's okay. Admire it, appreciate it, be a little bit envious if you feel it, but let everyone do this their own way and congratulate them for their achievements and commiserate with them over what they see as their failings. Everything about this competition is personal. 

Charlieswrite; Sporadically Yours.