Part of me wants to be writing this blog, but a part of me, a very large part, wishes I didn't have to. I wished I didn't have to point out that using someone's medical condition as a point to laugh at them, but we often do. Sometimes that's because the behaviour that is displayed when a person is ill can be quite erratic and seemingly amusing, but actually, it's a cry for help.
I'm not a big fan of Kanye West and I'm definitely not a fan of the whole Kardashian crowd, but his diagnosis with Bi-polar disorder has been public knowledge for a long time, and it's not the first time that he's had a very public episode where his health has been badly impacted, however the way it is reported makes it seem as though we should be entertained by him, rather than actually helping him to access the kind of help that he needs.
To me, it's personal, because about six months ago, I was having really worrying symptoms with my mental health. Some of the times I took my Valium was actually not because I was so anxious I felt like I couldn't breath without panicking, but actually because I was so overexcited and that energy turned into nervous energy, and I just felt as though my whole body was vibrating. That buzz of energy is really hard to cope with and it felt as though my moods were swinging from anxious to excited to nervous to panicked to happy to depressed and cycling back through them in no sort of order. It was a scary development, and I didn't want to admit that what I was terrified of it being bi-polar disorder, because I know that one of the hardest parts of bi-polar is that you get well, you come off your meds because you think you don't need them, and then you relapse. Obviously it's not the same for everyone, but it's a common experience. It's also an experience I've had with my anxiety medication, because I'm not big on the idea of having to pop pills constantly to be able to live my life the way that I want to.
I had to go to a psychiatrist for an assessment on my mental health issues and I was terrified for the weeks before hand, but on the day, she was able to reassure me that it didn't seem to her like it was Bi-polar. I had taken the whole day off of work, because the last time I had to have an assessment because of my mental health and went into work afterwards, I was far from okay, and I really didn't need a repeat of that situation, but as it was, I was relieved. I came home, got on my sofa and almost cried because I was so relieved. I don't know whether that relief was more because she told me that she was going to put some recommendations for alternative medications into the medical report, or if it was more that it wasn't bi-polar.
There's something really stupid about that as well. Being diagnosed with bi-polar wouldn't have changed my symptoms. It wouldn't have made dealing with what I was dealing with any harder than it already was, but I've seen what bi-polar looks like on other people and I was petrified that that was what was "wrong" with me. I was scared of what that label would do, because anxiety has been bad enough over the years. It's been bad enough to have a panic disorder that people know about. I couldn't have lived through it quietly, but I would be lying if I say that that diagnosis wasn't traumatic.
That being said, I work for an organisation which is relatively supportive of mental health issues. My family are starting to understand it a whole lot better and that would have been easy enough to handle provided I point them to the right place to find information about what was happening. I would like to think I would have been able to convince myself that mood stabilising medication was a necessary evil, because I was definitely at the point where I needed something to change, but best of all, the friends I have around me are generally a wonderful and supportive bunch, so even if I had got that diagnosis, it would have been okay.
Putting all my other opinions about her aside, KKW is doing her best to be as supportive of her husband as she can and as protective as she can, despite his behaviour throwing some pretty horrific accusations at her and her family at the moment. Maybe some of them have some truth in them, maybe there are other things going on in the background, but she's right to ask for compassion for him, and if she's trying to get him sectioned or sent to rehab to help his current condition, which is what it seems like she is doing, I have to admire her, because despite the fact that being away from her husband would be hard, she's pushing for the right thing for him. She's being an awesome support network for her husband and I have to have a lot of respect for her because of that. A lot of people would walk away for their spouse doing less, so I have to say, it's not hugely often that I agree with her, but this is one of those occasions.
It plays into a larger issue with the media, as well. When someone has a breakdown or is struggling, there are so many prying eyes there trying to catch a glimpse and get a story on the situation instead of respecting the reasonable right to privacy and giving a person the time and space to heal. It's not just Kanye. It's happened to Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and many, many others. We are fascinated by the grief and sorrow and heartache of others like it's a Live Action soap opera. Whilst that fascination seems quite natural, there are limits, and we should know when to allow a person their space to heal. Very often, given the time to people may wish to share about their traumas or their stories themselves.
Claudia Winkleman comes to mind. When her daughter first had her accident, she needed time to make sure that her daughter was okay and recover from the fear that something as simple as trick or treating and candles could have caused her such injuries as she sustained, but then Winkleman has talked about what happened, both how she felt about the incident and what happened to her young daughter, and she used her platform to highlight to parents how dangerous store bought Hallowe'en costumes can be and to highlight to manufacturers how dangerous they can be. Personally I love pumpkin carving, even though I don't have an artistic bone in my body so they might as well look like a blob with a blob cut out, but her story made me think twice about putting lit candles into them, or any of the decorations I like to put out at Christmas, because around my parents' place we do still, sometimes, get Carole Singers at Christmas and the thought of a child getting hurt because of candles truly worries me.
Granted, that's not the same as Kanye West's medical condition, but it is a trauma where the public want information constantly and they want to be watching the scenes unfold. First it's is the child okay, then will she need skin grafts, will she be left with scaring. On top of what life can be like for celebrity children, it's quite a lot, and then there's every fear you have as a mother because of that. It's possible that something like that makes a parent anxious, in the medical definition, because all they did was let their child go trick or treating and they got such a serious injury.
I guess the TL;DR on this would have to be Mental Health issues are a big horrid beast, and being in the spotlight whilst experiencing them is really tough. Whilst it may seem amusing, we need to be compassionate and understanding, and if we can help someone, famous or not, to access the help that they need, that should always be the priority, rather than being entertained by their suffering, or feeling entitled to their story.
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