Today has been a really tough day. Most of the last couple of weeks have been tough because work has been long and busy and tough and that makes for some really tough days, but today was tough because last night, I couldn't sleep.
Usually, when I can't sleep it's because of a running commentary of anxiety in my head, but last night there was a pain in the bottom of my guts which I could only imagine was because I'd eaten something that upset my system. It's happened before, and it can happen because of stress (and there's been a lot of that going around in our office recently) but it's also down to food sometimes, so maybe I ate too much dairy, maybe having tomatoes in my sandwich every day is irritating my stomach too much - I don't know. The fact that I'm feeling much better today on that front means I don't really care so much, but I do care about the fact that I'm completely exhausted. Trying to function has been difficult because it's like a grey fog has descended over me and my brain hasn't been working at the speed that it normally does. Even trying to write this has actually been quite challenging. At least if you're trying to walk, it's just one foot in front of the other, or even running, I can normally cope with that, but anything, where I have to use my brain, takes a long while and also kind of hurts. I get a weird physical pain like hitting a wall, and it's everything I can do to stick to the goals that I have, but I'm doing it because that wall is going to be there the next time I'm running, it will be there. When I next get to take on a half marathon, it will be there and when I FINALLY get to London Marathon, that wall is probably going to be there on the Embankment and I'm going to wonder how the hell someone built that overnight because it wasn't there before and it won't be thereafter, but it'll be there for me to try and get past as it will be for many other runners, but hey if I can do it now, I will be able to do it then because I can eat all of the sugar that I want to and then it's just one foot in front of the other and get moving after the person in front of you. Follow that person, following the person in front for a few thousand people, who are following the lead car or the time car or whatever it is which is leading the runners out of East London, around Cutty Sark and Greenwich, over to Tower Bridge, back through the Isle of Dogs and every beautiful view around Canary Wharf, back along the Embankment, into Westminster and around to finish on the Mall after a quick wave to the Queen rounding the last corner near Buckingham Palace. There might be a few times when I hit that brick wall across a twenty-six point two-mile course, but hopefully, by then I will be physically and mentally ready to get myself around the course no matter how many brick walls I run into.
Anyway, I wrote, I did my four hundred and forty-four words for 4 the words, and now I'm going to tuck myself into bed with my book and try to recover enough brain power to function through tomorrow because I have catching up to do. I'm going to drink my tea, read my book, and tuck myself into bed, then hope that tomorrow goes a little better.
Charlieswrite
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