12 Jul 2020

Say Something Positive For God's Sake

In a voice of snark usually reserved for my anxiety, when thinking about what to write for the blog today something told me to write something positive, so I guess I will. 

Last week was a long old week at work. In fact, we've had a few long old weeks at work. It's been a long old month or so planning the temporary move back up to Manchester and it's been a damn long lockdown and everyone is feeling it, so when my mum asked me to get up early on Saturday morning part of me wanted to say, are you kidding me? I want to spend the whole day in bed reading my book and enjoying the fact I have nothing more to do with my life than that, but when I asked why, Mum said we could either go to an outlet or to the market. I love the market because there are sewing places and wool places and all sorts of other things. There's a place that makes vegan black pudding - made with black beans, I believe - and here's the place where my granddad gets his word searches and he's still hibernating, as my gran says. 

Anyway, Mum said the outlet trip was probably more urgent and I agreed, so off we went. We did our normal thing of having a good giggle whilst we were waiting in the line to get in and then there were signs everywhere saying everything is an extra 50% off. We thought there was no way this extended to literally everything, but it did. I got a couple of new pairs of shoes, both are vegan (which I like because the idea of any sneaky animal products in my footwear is gross. I do, occasionally, still have leather shoes, but at least they're not hiding where that came from...) one pair was six pounds and the other was LITERALLY four pounds fifty. I wasn't just thrilled because everything was stupid cheap though - I was also thrilled when I got home and tried on my new shirt - pale pink, three-quarter sleeves and totally gorgeous for work - and found out that, even though I got a fourteen to accommodate 'the girls', this shirt has extra, not visible buttons in the chest area to prevent them looking like they are making an escape attempt as they often do. It's such a simple fix, but it works so well that I nearly cried. Mum enjoyed the clothes shopping, too, but was even more thrilled when we got home and got her a greenhouse off Facebook market place and it was only down the road, so my dad went off to get that. 

It took a long while to get down, but the guy getting rid of it was getting rid of a pile of other potting shed related things, and my mum has got pretty into her vegetable growing now, so it was like a little treasure trove and we spent today sorting the garden out ready to have the new greenhouse rebuilt once my dad has built a timber frame for it to sit level on, getting rid of some plants, re-potting others and generally enjoying the weather. After waking up and feeling terrible, it was great to feel like I could actually do something useful. 

Even though I'm in pain now, because gardening is a lot for the back, and I have irritating scratches up all four limbs and a blister plaster on my right middle finger (wind me up and you will see it) I'm tired in a good way, and all of the happy endorphins were buzzing around from the effort and being outside, and getting to sit back and realise that, whilst the garden is not "finished" (as if it ever will be) we've made a lot of progress and we've got a lot planned and the means to push it forward, so that felt really positive, and in turn that makes my mind a happier and quieter place. 

I had wanted to get on with mask making this weekend or writing some more, but it's been pretty full-on and I am beat, so I'm glad I learned to lay off myself a little about doing everything and just gave myself the space to feel a bit better and be positive. 

Charlieswrite

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